Hallab 1881, on that horrible Independence Day ad

One of my problems is that I react viscerally to ads. The new Hallab 1881 ad made me physically wince. Let's see - a grandson comes to his grandfather and asks "grandpa what happens to the world if there was no Lebanon?". Cue... The pseudo-patriotic diatribe about us inventing the alphabet, and our landmarks, and singers and doctors and inventors, and famous lunches. Maybe, just maybe (and this is a big ask) if sounded good on paper. In reality the ad borderline sucks. No, it fully sucks. It is badly acted, badly scripted, badly thought, badly executed, and - damn it, even as a diabetic - the last thing I want right now is baclava! Oh please spare me the "no matter what happens the country is the foundation of it all...". Stupidity called and wants its line back. Honest, I am usually much more reserved but this is totally beyond any logic. I saw the ad so that you don't have to, but if you insist please check here.

Jaguar goes EV gets a new logo

Well, at least this makes sense. Basically a brand changes its logo when it is either changing its product line, its target audience or its market (geographically or otherwise). Jaguar changed its logo, to do precisely that. Their vision however is clear, they want to go totally upmarket more than doubling the price of their cars, launching newly designed models, going EV, and reaching out to the more affluent clients. The strategy mind you is not unheard of - when Tag Heuer wanted to shed its cheap image and go totally upscale to reach a new clientele, we suddenly had much-better designed watches, with the price to match (and a wonderful "success. it's a mind game"). Skoda did it too mind you with its now study case "Skoda, no really skoda". So other brands have done it, why can't Jaguar?

Sure, a lot of people are revolting design wise, but these are the same people who went up in arms against Balenciaga when, honestly, they couldn't even afford their products in the first place. So let's put it this way, unless you have the funds to buy yourself the new upmarket EV Jaguar models, your opinion doesn't count. In the immortal words of Rachel Green (played by Jennifer Aniston) in Friends "no uterus, no opinion", because honestly, the new Jaguar is simply not talking to you.

Get over it.

And let the AI ads floods begin!

Coca-Cola (here).

Mango (here).

Well, so here we are. The flood has begun! 

Apart from the question is the ads look good or not (Coca-Cola does not mind you), that's it - it is indeed the beginning of a new era. All brands combined will jump on the bandwagon. If it works or not, looks realistic or not, is well-received or not, is beyond the question. AI is going by leaps and bounds daily. Each brand has a different logic to do what they are doing - experimental, cost-saving, easily-generable or whatever all else. The result remains the same - the era of AI generated ads are here, for better or for worse. I will withhold my judgement at this point - perhaps this is just the beginning so the lack of narrative might be expected, but I still don't see anything worth writing home about at this point.

Carex Shisha - Condoms

Link credit here

Carex, is is some coincidence is rhymes with... Well, another leading condoms brand? Well, in a country like Lebanon where smoking - and smoking shisha - is almost a national pass time yet buying condoms still carries with it a social stigma (and many other misunderstood information), how about destigmatizing the situation by - well buying Carex Shisha. No one will judge you and you will get to have protected sex. A win-win! Again, I think it is brilliant marketing tactic to dress this up as a socially-acceptable product even if - damn me I am not here to encourage smoking at all, yet for one I all for it.

John Lewis Christmas ad - a woman on the moon?

Now how about this for a surprise? A John Lewis ad which is not about (in no particular Chronological order) a man on the moon (here) or about an aging rockstar (here) or an odd Christmas tree (here) or a school play about a famous band (here)? You better believe it. The ad is about - and I assure you I am not lying - a woman shopping for a gift for her sister. Yes, I know, very unexpected. So with John Lewis having "15 minutes to close" the woman goes on a Proustian trip of her relationship with said sister - all within the branch. Anything that John Lewis sells is featured from clothes, to jewelry, to furniture, etc... The ad recounts the regular relationship between two siblings - from camaraderie as kids, to jealousy as teenagers, to what seemed to be estrangement as adults, to reconnecting, to... well, there you go - a Christmas festive present. "The secret to finding the perfect gift? Is knowing where to look" goes the ad. What I loved most is when the two sisters embrace and one chides the one who was buying the present that it took forever for her to be out of the store, the main actress (Margret Clunie) says "it was your fault". Forever sibling love and rivalry, and women on the moon. See the ad here.

Why is everyone talking about the wrong Bacardi ad?

Lately a new Bacardi ad emerged. And everyone seems to be talking about it (here). A very angry woman goes into a cafe where four men are playing cards along with a waiter behind the bar, she raises hell on all of them scolding them for leaving her alone, at the wee hours of the night, and so on and so forth. The trick? All men think she is someone else's wife when she isn't any.

But in 2006 Bacardi launched a different, funnier and better structured ad. A very angry woman goes into a cafe... Only to find her husband as the waiter! She is astonished and he explains to her that in order for her to have all the lovely things, so that she can enjoy such as breakfast with her mother and go shopping with her friends, he works at a bank during the day and a waiter at night. She melts. As soon as she leaves the cafe the man gives back his jacket and shirt to the real waiter who was hiding among the men at a table nearby (here).

Just to be clear I am not saying this is plagiarism despite the same idea of "angry woman" and "cafe" and "waiter" as both ads as shaped differently. But just to be clear, the original is the winner.

Singles Day strikes again.

As I said earlier (here)...

"So after importing "black Friday", "cyber Monday" (both sans thanksgiving), "halloween", (thank you we had our own St. Barbara - look here!), "the first look" in marriages, "bachelor parties" (all while keeping the regular party for the bride and groom), and so on - now we have... "Singles day". Basically Singles Day is the antidote for Valentine's Day. Meaning a day for single people to actually gift themselves something - as a stark reminder none is there to gift them anything (which is a depressing thought)."

So here's 2022 edition, 2023, and this year follows in tow. I guess the market is too stale and any excuse is a good excuse to sell.

Cadbury fingers, the long and short of it.

Apparently they are no longer on supermarket shelves in France! (Here). The "they" in question are the mythical "Cadbury Fingers" from the giant chocolate maker. Not that I am pointing fingers (sorry, bad pun) but not one knows whose "fault" it is (it seems factory and suppliers and distributors are all saying it was someone else's decision). But to go back to what matters? That ad. That incredible ad - 14 seconds long mind you. It must date to the end of 70s/very early 80s. The kid is trying to sneak a finger and then asks if "they couldn't be any longer?" (tu pourrais pas les faire un peu plus longs?)... Apparently not because well, they vanished it seems. Watch the super ad here.

Bank Audi does a masterstroke revisiting an old gem

Do you remember the wonderful sun ad by Banque Audi (here). The idea was to get some schoolkids to draw the sun... Until one of them tears a paper with scissors, hang the "frame" on the glass window and the real sun comes in.  Well, the same boy from the ad is back. Back with a tender vengeance (here). Look you need to understand the first ad to understand the second. Because the boy does the same and instead of the original message "your capacity is bigger than you think", we get "no matter how cloudy it gets, the sun will rise again". And even if like every Lebanese banks are not currently my favorite institutions the ad is really, really timely and really, really well done. 

Pizza Hut - the frozen pizza that never was

So apparently Pizza Hut needs to clarify a point - they do not do frozen pizzas. To prove the point, they launched a new product... Frozen pizza. The ad, which apart from the fact that we ended up with food bloggers and their ever-ebullient mood, is actually truly very well done. You pick up a product from the frozen food section, go home, yet never get to defrost it. Why? Because the box is empty! Remember, they do not do frozen pizzas! Instead in the box, you get a coupon for a real daily-made dough pizza from the app of Pizza Hut. Neat!!! I repeat, here's an ad that works, and that proves its point by going through the negative. Watch the ad here.

Puck & Panzani go on a silly Arabization

Panzani, the pasta brand, went hand in hand with Puck. So far so good. Their ad boasts "perfect pasta partners". Under the logo of Puck the English signature is "you made it special". Again, no fault so far even if it has been used before one way or the other. The Arabic? "You are not special" (mannak ghayr). Sure sure they meant "minnak ghayr" (special from you), but without the Arabic language annotations, this is how it reads. So who is special now? Apparently, not the cook!

e& (etisalat) - go for more platitudes galore

Jason Straham? Check. Lewis Hamilton? Check. Shah Ruh Khan? Check. The big (male) guns. In a very well-shot ad, which, honestly delivers nothing more than platitudes. You can play games on your phone? Scan a code bar? Pay by touch? And have apps there? Sure, immerse this in a "futuristic sauce" and everything seems - Blade Runner-ish. Oh and add a flying taxi and an uber stylish Mercedes in the background along with some "AI" flashing. Do I want Straham's walk in closet? Yes please. But seriously though, the ad, even if well-done plays the done-and-dusted card so much it is almost - insulting. Oh, and Pepsi called and they want their "Ask for More" slogan back. See the ad here.

Penrex, the ad that never was

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

I am often asked why is it that I collect old ads. People simply do not understand that the ads in question are the concentrate of our collective memory. A few days ago a youngster from the village asked me that same question. My answer was "Chou battariytak?" he instinctively answered "Re-O-Vac" (here). So I asked him "do you know that the last time this ad was on TV was about 1981-82?" "no...." "were you even born back then?" "no...." "see, this is our memory as people, as Lebanese, and you know about an ad that last aired before you were even born!". Josyane Boulos is doing a tremendous effort online (here) to revive old ads found in her archives - interestingly, the ads are mostly in her and her late father Jean-Claude Boulos' programs on Tele Liban (such as Malaeb). Like any collector with a mission, I have a lot - and I mean a lot - of ads.

During the pandemic I made it a point to watch 3 hours of Saudi Television archives on youtube to save the ads that were being broadcast in Lebanon as well at the time (80s television mind you). Perhaps you do not know but one of the most active agencies in Lebanon lost its archive when their offices were hit in Mirna Chalouhi center during the war in 1989, and another agency literally threw theirs in the trash. I once met with a major production agency of the time and the manager told me "yes, we still have the old ads, but don't get too excited, we don't have the machines to read them".

From my own archives, a few ads are still missing - Vegetaline, Jebran Metni, Benedicta, but most importantly.... Penrex! The ad, is still remembered by many, though nowhere to be found. The story of the ad is of a young man standing behind an uptight young girl in the bus. When the bus breaks violently the man bumps into the girl who is astonished! The young man immediately takes out the Penrex from his pocket to indicate that it was the pen not his - ahem - organ that actually poked her. The slogan? "Don't say pen say Penrex!"... If my recollection is correct, the whistle and the tune are both from the late Sami Clark.

But go find that ad. It is nowhere!

Digital Youth Leaders International Forum 2024

Some people are obstinate, unwavering, stubborn. I know one such person - Jihad El Hokayem. With Lebanon facing, once more, uncharted territories, what does the man who spearheads Rethinking Labanon do? He goes on and organizes the Digital Youth Leaders International Forum for this year. Is this resilience as the ad goes? (here). No it is far more, it is a belief - an unshakable belief - of forging on no matter the hurdles, the circumstances, and the problems. This is not just resilience, it is faith. A deeply rooted faith in the youth, Lebanese youth and how far they can go.

Ksara comes out swinging

One of things I am loving about the ads coming out these days, is that most of them are actually not even trying to sell me anything. The majority of them are being tactful, respectful and just showing support - much needed support to the Lebanese in this time of crisis. Ksara is the last entrant in this proud category with a copy for the ages, which is very connected to who they are and what they do. The gist of it? "This is our land, here with every new dawn new dreams are born, (dreams that) neither the winds would kill nor time would disappoint, we won't leave this land, neither the land would leave us". This ladies and gentlemen is the way to do it - proud, entrenched, with the head high. See the ad here.

IPT, because it is always time for your health

Oh so IPT has a new hit on their hands right bang after the one they just released (here). Yes, yes, no one has time for "this". And this is precisely what makes the ad timely and interesting. "Now is not the time, I barely have time to look at myself in the mirror. Now is the time to take care of my children, protect them, and not let them worry. Now is not the time, let me handle the household expenses. Not the time, I need to keep my business moving, am afraid it will stop. Keep the cancer mammography among your priorities in all cases, because it is always time for your health". Because, yes, Pink October! Because of course, what's with everything happening in Lebanon, the government pitching in the price of mammography is not on anyone's high list. But, as the ad goes "it's always time for your health."

50...

50.

Originally an installation, 50 is more easily shared as a video. Yes, 50 seconds looped 4 times for easier viewing. Boxes, and contents, and souvenirs and mementos and that obligatory Proustian endeavor that comes with time and age. Not just any age, 50.

IPT, manages to turn the negative into a positive

IPT (here and here and here) is now back with a patriotic ad - la situation oblige. Their idea is to turn the negative into a positive. Usually when someone asks you "how are you?" and you reply "mitl hel balad" (like this country - same as the country is) it means you are not doing that well at all. And yet the whole copy of the ad centers around this idea - that "mitl hel balad" "means we are standing strong, unwavering, unmoving, to still be able to serve you from the bottom of our heart as we go through this phase together, because no matter how much the times flip, there's nothing.... like this country." To be able to harness the negativity into a positive element - and also portray the many different IPT stations which were destroyed is no mean feat. You can argue this is not an "ad" per se, but since it is signed by IPT, then message of hope or ad becomes a technicality. Good on them looking it at this way. Watch the film here.

And we go on with those who remain

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

For some reason the song is not leaving my brain these days.

بدنا نكمل بللي بقيو

Here. Taken from the Rahbani play "Jbal Al Souwan".

We shall go on with those who remain.

The song reminds me of the war. By war I mean the 1975-1990 one - not the other iterations. Because Sawt Loubnan (Voix du Liban) would play it all the time.

Here is a former writing about Fairouz and the war (originally here).

It’s Fairouz again on the radio. She comes frequently between news flashes. The ex- militia man once pondered that Fairouz was a bad omen for the “boys on the front”, whenever she was on the radio a hundred of them were killed. Someone replied that it was the opposite that was true: It was when a hundred “boys” were killed that radio stations played songs by fairouz. They never did resolve that one. Just like many other things stayed unresolved. I always needed a straw for my bottle of “Crush”, it was too risky for me to drink directly from the bottle.

There is no sense explaining to you why the war flashbacks are going back to my mind. We all know why. And that incredible feeling of both, euphoria and powerlessness. Of missing normalcy, when the abnormal becomes normal and we have to live with it on day to day basis. Of insanity masquerading as daily life as I wait for the bread vendor who comes in his van and try to shield my elderly parent from how bad the night was in Beirut.

We shall go on with those who remain. Those who remained. The idiotic, imbecilic, pseudo-crazy ones who carry generational trauma and get on with it. In England they had the Blitz Spirit (here) some form of "just get on with it despite everything". In Lebanon we talk a lot about that wretched term "resilience". I am tired of resilience, but apart from going with those who remain, what else can we do?

The parishes are sharing a new Mansour Labaki hymn, seriously.

I am, believe it or not, on my parish official whatsapp. Why? Because I need to be notified of death faire-part to go and offer condolences (I said it before, I am the oldest non-married male from the "male" part of my family (including cousins and what not) so I offer condolences on behalf of the whole "jebb" or trunk of the family). Long story short, the parish also shares other news on its whatsapp. If you are not aware tomorrow is the canonization of the three Masabki brothers (here). I have spoken prior about Msgr Mansour Labaki (here) and how difficult it is to separate the art from the artist.

Here's the last paragraph from that post:

But again, ask those elderly women in the sororities, and the middle-aged men (yes, this includes me as I was born in 1974!) about who did this hymn they memorized and which they might hum come Christmas (am thinking of Labaki's simple, glorious, lovely "Laylat al Milad") and the answer would be a total blank. The artwork will outlast its author, whomever its author was.

All right, but that "before". When none of us knew of the pedophilic accusations about Labaki. Just to be clear, Labaki - and these are not innuendos - was convicted of molesting children by a special Vatican court in France. Yet he was never extradited and instead is serving his "penitence" in a nun's convent in Lebanon. 

Yet, the Maronite clergy, and in extenso - not just my own parish - but many others are sending a new hymn by Labaki for the Masabki brothers (here). I am at this point - speechless.