Allo Beirut? The line is dead.

So it seems Allo Beirut has closed its doors. To be clear, I rarely go out. If I ever do, I have specific jaunts I frequent (mostly Le Chef in Gemmayze). So it is not like speaking from experience, but to requote Ibn Nabata Al Saadi "تعددت الأسباب والموت واحد" (the reasons are varied but death is one and the same). According to Alaa Shalak (here) "I used to direct this brand in the UAE for 5 years, we made a great success story. The moment they landed in Hamra, I saw this coming. I live in Hamra and I know how it works. Almost 1.5 to 2 Million Dollars of investment can’t be done in Hamra! No parkings, demographics have changed, no tourism. Add to that, taste didn’t match UAE and the pricing strategy???? No comment!!"

Ali Atwi, Bakar Mohamad, Sam Shouman, and JC Abi Saab (here) all agreed on the same angle: The food left much to be desired. Each experessed in a different way, but the end result is still that the food was definately not up to standards. For Mohamad Haidar (here), "I barely saw any digital marketing. No remarketing. No performance campaigns that followed me around. No strong reason to order online. No aggressive customer acquisition. In nearly two years, I was never convinced to try it once."

In an excellent analysis Hussein Daaboul (here) raises a different angle: "Allo Beirut just opened in Hamra, right at the end of Barbar's street in Beirut. (...) But it isn't one because the fight that made Allo Beirut in Dubai isn't the fight it's walking into in Beirut. Bringing a Lebanese brand back to Lebanon from abroad is one of the hardest moves in this industry. Local brand equity here takes generations, not campaigns. And I've already seen Allo Beirut's Dubai-facing messaging built for the Lebanese expat abroad placed on billboards in Beirut."

Mohamad Haidar adds, "(b)ut I think the biggest strategic mistake was choosing to compete in Hamra, where Barbar already owns the category. Barbar isn’t just another restaurant it’s a generational brand. People don’t go to Hamra thinking, “Where should I eat?” They already know where they’re going."

Mohammad Abdelrahaman adds (here) "(a)nother issue is that they didn't have any clear portfolio of what they specialise in, or who their targeted customers were. Yes it's true that barbar sells everything, but they have that compartmentalized into 4 different store fronts. Unlike Allo Beirut which was trying to sell everything to everyone from a single store front."

Do note, that according to Daaboul, Barbar did open in the UAE one block from Allo Beirut, with a "majority (of) non-Lebanese customer base." But of course, the difference is that Barbar opened in Beirut and is a famed institution across many generations of customers. Actually, rumor had it that armed forces used to do everything in their possibility to serve in the area of Barbar so much the appeal was strong. Whereas Allo Beirut was a chain that started outside of Lebanon and was trying to find its footing here - which as we know by now, did not happen.

Between location, taste (or lack of it), Barbar, lack of marketing strategy, and doing a very early victory lap, the Allo Beirut adverture only lasted since October 27th 2025 till June 10th 2026. A huge investment that came to naught in the end.

The faster pace of advertising goes bothways

Re-O-Vac slogan from my collective memory series celebrating collective memory

Whereas I am talking about the Lebanese advertising scene, this could apply anywhere. Did you know that the same commercial on Lebanese TV could run for 3-4 years. No, no, I am serious. Yes? Re-O-Vac? AF7? Alico? This is how these ads became staples in our collective and individual memories. As I look back at them (and now they are present everywhere on the net) I cannot deny their charms, but as Ghida Younes asked me back when she was hosting "baddak totla3 3al television?" as to why we remember them fondly even though they were not "award-winning" (ughh that word, again!), it is because we do not remember the ads per se, we remember what they remind us of.

"Picture it" no, not Sicily 1922 to misquote Sofia Petrillo, but Beirut (insert any date - which most likely coincides with the 1975-1990 war), no matter which shelter or political/geographical side you were on, you saw, repeatedly, the same ads over and over again. The frequency of the media buy must have coincided with "anything" happening in your life. The timeless Ghantous w Bou Raad jingle - which again ran so long that when Voix du Liban (Sawt Lebnan) initiated its "greatest radio ad" competition, it made it "hors concours" as people voted for it year after year - was there when you fell in love with that girl having coffee at the neighbours, when your child was born, or when the major explosion happened which may have killed a dear person in your orbit, or more luckily that you have survived miraculously because you decided to leave the balcony and go inside to drink. No, all of these are not invented, but I am pulling all these events from lived-in situations or what we call in the advertising world "slice of life".

They happened. And they happened to people I know. Perhaps the immediacy of the remembrance might not be there, but it is authentic and correct this much I assure you. But all this is linked to longevity, the same ads running over and over. Kronenbourg Beer, which apparently still exists in Lebanon, will always be linked to that day when my village was bombed constantly during the war and we hid - along with cousins - in the small bedroom in the house all the day. Sure, Kronenbourg ads ended up vanishing but not after taking the enormous space they occupied prior on the airwaves.

Today, the whole landscape is different. A campaign is lucky to make it to four months before vanishing. Newness, immediacy, and otherwise built-in obsolescence is at the heart of the advertising/marketing industry. "On to the next" as the late Karl Lagerfeld would say once a fashion show ended. Immediately, there is something "fresher", "industry-shattering", "people-grabbing", "talk of the town material", and here I am repeating those hollow words that get churned in press releases which get thrown at us from agencies left and right. Perhaps they believe what they say, perhaps they are desperate.

At around Christmas 2024, an agency sent me an ad. One of those run-of-the-mill things. The PR girl said "this is an important one, don't miss on it, people will remember it years from now". I emailed literally saying the ad is boring and it will be forgotten once people glance on it. I was indeed right. But all of these "activations", "campaigns", or whatever format everyone keeps producing, are going down the drain.

Is it because people now want "fast things"? Is it because clients are running after "relevancy" and "coolness"? Is it because because ad agencies are trying to justify exorbitant budgets or retainers? It could be any of those, or all of them. But the end output is the same.

Now - let me ask you an existential question - and this, sorry for my non-Lebanese readers - is quite specific to my compatriots...

شو بطاريتك؟

Roadster x Doritos - great partnership for an underwhelming ad

Roadster, the Lebanese diner which has expanded to the UAE is so mighty it has partnered with Doritos - I have seen two ads (the burger one above and the chicken fingers here). Here are some not-so-good earlier iterations of Roadster - here and here, there were some better attempts here and here, but there are times where one feels... They're not even trying. And the Doritos match up seems to fall in that vein. I mean, "Doritos, the loudest taste on earth", yes, that Doritos. And all they came up with is some unappetizing visuals, which don't exactly scream "huge collab between local and international brand". So if I wasn't so focused on the advertising scene all this could have fell through the cracks.

RC vs Pepsi #compareandcontrast

OK, no one is guilty in this. Both brands used "mal3abna" (our playfield) - but because the campaigns are simultaneous, and because it takes forever for brands and their ad agencies and their management to agree on anything, this means all this has been stewing very calmly for a while and sadly came to fruition at the same time. either of the two brands could have retracted and change but now it is too late as their campaigns (obviously for the World Cup) have been revealed. As the saying goes "great minds think alike, and fools seldom differ). Both went for the lowest common denominator.

Did Medco decode Lebanon better than anyone?

Medco might be your petrol station, but in the words of the inimitable Garrison Keillor it seems it has inhabited "driveway philosophers" because Medco suddenly seems inspired enough to decode Lebanon, and even better, decode it more thoughtfully than anyone else. Long time ago, a student of mine wanted to rebrand Lebanon, and after brainstorming we came up with the line "the essential is invisible to the eye" (yes, I know, taken from The Little Prince by St. Exupery). But there it is again, Lebanon - according to Medco - is not a country that is "understood" but is "to be lived". Sunday with the family, where is the party tonight (kids are at my mother's), Come spend the weekend, We're off to the village, Grandma has done kebbe, Are we going up the mountain or down to the sea?, the smell of the grilled meat on Sunday, The smell of the sea. The problem? They all make sense and are true and correct. Suddenly, everyone comes into the picture regardless of political differences and socio-economic disparities. And that too is tried and tested. So indeed, you can't explain that, but you totally can live it.

Gipsy, explaining water with water

When someone does a bad job at explaining something and goes back from the start, the Arabic term is "فسر الماء بالماء" - he explained water with water. Gypsy from Sanita? "Why bamboo because bamboo". Three adult, smart, educated people tried to decode this over coffee and failed. Miserably failed, none of us understood it. So honestly, it is a riddle - even worse than those of Malik's (here) - because this one reminded me of deconstructivist philosophy or just one of those questions that can only make sense to a 5-year old at the end of a summer day. Whichever of the two, I still think there is something completely wrong there. Unfortunately, the original idea is very smart - instead of Gipsy being made from trees, it is made of bamboo which means it is ecofriendly - interestingly on their Instagram the original line is different "Why gipsy because bamboo" (here). Perhaps something was deeply lost in translation there.

Foody's goes back to the 90s

In the early to late 90s, a certain advertising agency was doing ads for a specific brand of Tuna. The jingle was was ridiculous, "X thon abiad, X ta3mo atiab" - X is a white tuna, X tastes better. The horrible part was not jingle - as bad as it was - but the "model" which was brought in. Obviously, she would "taste" the product and nod approvingly. Which brings us to Foody's a direct descendant of that ad. Two women, a blonde and a brunette obviously, each holding a product from the Foody's arsenal (Garden Peas and Crispy Chicken Strips - do have a look at their other products here) with the line "keep an eye on Foody's". From what I am gathering this must be in the frozen section of the supermarket. Considering I go there and pick products without even looking at the brand, maybe, just maybe, next time I will keep and eye on Foody's. No promises though.

Deek Duke apparently had a better one for Jounieh opening.

Remember that one with Deek Duke opening in Jounieh? (here). Ali Agha had his very interesting take on it here. Well, here's another ad, with the copy being witty and the visual always childish. "kif el jaw bil 09?" as I explained prior 09 is the Kesserwan area where Jounieh is. Also jaw is both "ambiance" and "air", with the visual mention of the cable cars (teleferique) taking you from Jounieh to the statue of the Virgin Mary (the Harissa monastry), the double meaning is quite lovely. Pity they had to ruin everything with those silly chicken illustrations.

Deek Duke Jounieh - one part works the other not

I shall start with the visual which I dislike intensely. I hate what they have done since the rebranding. Also "Habibi come to" is nice slang but now the hype over the sentence has died down long ago so it's really dépassé  at this point. But well, better late than never I presume. I do love the 09 - the Kesserwan phone code in Lebanon (where Jounieh is, for anyone not understanding). An internal gimmick only the Lebanese will understand. On the whole the ad is nice within its context, but it will take me much convincing to like that new visual they are adopting.

What links Cannes Lions to the MGM Lion?

Cannes. Oh heaven help us. Cannes. No I never attended, but I am still underwhelmed. Here's the issue - it is boring. Everything is a performative spectacle. And yes, this year we had more Arab "representation" across the board, from juries to winners to attendees to whatever have you which sent the frenzy on turbo mode. And I am still underwhelmed.

OK, I know what you are thinking, if you never attended, never had your ad compete, never won, how come the cynicism? Well, because, and here I go back to the words of the incredible adman Farid Chehab, "before there used to be three categories in Cannes, now everyone goes back with a consolation prize". I am not inventing gunpowder when I say that most ad people are just a bunch of egocentric bunch, or that there were a lot of entries which never got signed by the client, or that were winners which were literally a copy of previous winners from years past, or many other gripes.

As a full disclosure I have been a juror at the Epica Awards since 2016. The difference is that Epica is only judged by journalists. We don't have a dog in the game, all we want is just to reward the most rewardable ad even if it goes against the grain. 

But now my Linkedin is full to the brim with pictures and people on the Croisette, doing all those fancy things linen-clad and espadrilles-wearing people do which included a lot of wine, hey even Tahab Rais published a full essay about what to do when you are a Muslim and non-wine drinker. And all of this makes me sigh. A gigantic echo chamber which is good for the ego, and the tan.

This year there was even a marketing debate between Mark Riston and Byron Sharp which attempted to reinvent the wheel about the basics of marketing. Thank you Quirino Malendrino for setting things right and being the voice of reason (here).

And I still do not think all this is worth it. You got your awards? Good. Did you sell? Did you make life easier for the consumer? Did you improve society? I dare think you did not. I can still be convinced, but I come from a very wary and skeptical mindset. 

No matter, at least the whole brouhaha now went down. Of course, Cannes Lions reminds me of a different and quite as famous other Lion. The MGM mascot. Here's the deal, the MGM Lion roar you hear on that very famous opening? Well, that was a tiger's roar dubbed over it. So perhaps this whole Lions thing is just play-pretend after all.

What's wrong with being old school?

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly (2020)

In 2013, when the now defunkt Cloud 961 magazine held their online awards, apparently I was one of the nominees (spoiler alert: I did not win), but the funny part is that their "editor in chief", the famously bowtie clad arrogant youth, said of me "washed up advertiser turned blogger". Very lately, someone who is in his late 20s said that I was "too agency-centric" and that if I was "smarter and more creative" I would have understood his ads (which mind you are just Behance projects not paid-for by any client or agency). Well, in a major case of IYKYK (If You Know You Know) I am not going to go back to my career and the exciting moments I have lived, and still hope to live again, albeit differently. But all of this makes me think - every decade we used to have titles such as "advertising is dead, a new advertising is born" or "this will change advertising forever" etc... Then the timeline grew shorter to half a decade, then two years, now every other couple of month there are seismic shifts apparently in the industry. Apparently that is.

Of course, if "you can't teach old dogs new tricks", then yes I still use Paintbrush to do my artwork (and one of the most frequent questions I get asked is "what effect on photoshop/illustrator/etc... did you use to get that effect?"). Oh and because I write almost daily, word software is still word software. Now mind you I also analyze daily but cannot recall the last time I downloaded the brain software update. Again, lately someone mentioned that there is a "generational gap", which mind you I still have not noticed. Not because I don't use the latest upgrade on the AI model (hint: Claude is the name of someone I knew at school, nothing else), or follow the newest microtrend as suggested by Tiktok (another hint: I don't have Tiktok), and the list continues.

Well, I am a self-confessed luddite, way before "digital detox" became a fad. Yet, here we are - to misquote that old cooking show with Yan, "If I can blog, so can you". So, what I am harping at here? People, I am indeed old school, but so is advertising. The fundamentals are immutable. The tools change. In the words of the great late Vahe Ashkarian who was one of my teachers at AUB, "I don't know how to use a computer, but I know what a computer does", so yes, I have not used AI nor am I interested to, but I know what it does and I know what it can - and cannot - get me.

Maybe just maybe, old school is here for long run.

Farrouj Al Shams takes "everyone" too literally

Farrouj Al Shams wants to know that "the sun brings everyone together". You know because Al Shams is the sun. Now if you did not get the message from the copy, try the assembled people on the table instead. Bar a veiled lady somewhere (to indicate plurality of religions), anyone who is anyone is there. The cool leather jacket clad son (with sunglasses to match), the cute granddaughter sitting next to - well, the cute - grandfather, the mother and father both young and looking adoringly at their daughter (interesting there seems to be many seasons on the table due to variations in clothing), and then there's - who is this a daughter, an unmarried funky aunt, a wannabe Marilyn or 80s Madonna? See? I did tell you they assembled the whole gang of stereotypical characters with a lot of food (no alcohol in sight though), and - a bit of an off-angled roasted chicken. So here we are, everyone is everyone.

Rexona - the copy that never lets you down

Yes, this is mainly for Iraq and Lybia, but honestly I couldn't skip talking about the copy. Majestic. Well, how come? Because it focuses on the negative, which is mostly avoided in ads. No, no, the ad spends more than 2/3 of it on the art of falling face down, but does it with such nobility, compassion and determination - "because you need to prove yourself to yourself". Sure, the visuals are a little common but that was expected because the ad needs to touch everyone (bonus points for the shot that says "anyone who believed in you"). Also I loved how the packshot arrived gradually, bit by bit, then "Rexona never lets you down". A very good, solid and single-minded effort for the brand from Pimo. Watch it here. 

Hajj Nasr - father's day: Simple does it.

Honestly why complicate what is simple. Hajj Nasr, the eatery known for its wraps, just goes "today, we celebrate the two most famous who wrapped wraps... Hanna Hajj and Nassif Nasr! May every Father's Day find you well". See? Poised, smart, warm, polite, and very affectionate. The above is part of a story on their Instagram so sadly not link but good on them. Because (hear me out Almaza - here) this is how we celebrate Father's Day. The copy is so honest, one would think one of their own children wrote it. So again, sometimes the easiest way is the most honest one. Here's to Mr. Hajj and Mr. Nasr.

Almaza - flunk I'm your father.

Sorry for the insult Star Wars. But what a flunk this is. Seriously, this is a level of - what's the word here? - unseen prior. Not for the lack of effort mind you. But this is honestly beyond comprehensible. So Almaza is celebrating Father's day. So far so good. Then it goes with a crushed can and a line that goes "inta bayye ktir raso tenke" - in Arabic "raso tenke" is someone opinionated but out of ignorance, lacking facts but still unmoved by logic, basically - not exactly a compliment. Seriously, I am still scratching my head over this just to understand any ray of logic or positive sentiment in this. But it fails on all counts. Hopefully this was not a paid ad for Pikasso because otherwise I can see a Pikasso Gold coming. Sigh.

Ksarak - smart idea for a questionable execution

Ksarak, yes, we have not seen that one for a long time. But it is here. And kicking indeed. Now Mink graced us with a new ad for the - legendary - Arak brand (which obviously comes from Ksara - incredible name mind you). The idea is simple, you can cheer on the world cup using Arak - instead of the customary "unbranded" alternative (Almaza bottle we see you even without the tag on). Also whereas this does not play into the forbidden comparative ad in the Lebanese law, because comparing Arak to beer is literally apples to oranges - this is basically the failure of the ad, that it went cheap comparing beer to a much more noble drink such as Arak. The original idea that yes, you can drink Arak with its accoutrements to cheer on the World Cup is very smart, why they had to compare it is beyond logic. Also "cheer for your country" is so much on the nose, come on, whatever happened to smart lines? (Mind you this is not even a double-entendre, because Lebanon did not make it to the World Cup). See the ad here.

Promomedia, to the left, to the left.

No I am not obsessed by Beyonce but I thought that was a nice title. Promomedia has literally, a cheeky reference. They have ads. And they have other ads. It sounds simple but it is actually quite smart. The ad in question is on the way leading to Dora from Karantina. Promomedia says - on their own space - "Check your ad to the left." Why? Because on the left is they are launching the 3D LED billboard where your immersive storytelling ad is. So Promomedia took one for the team by sacrificing its own banners to uplift its (arguably more expensive if you count the rotating cumulative ads rendering them more lucrative) which are "to the left". Who would have thought anyone in Lebanon would do it? Promomedia did.

Marie - from biscuits to Aunt

Interesting. Mastro has a new ad for their Marie biscuit. A part of any childhood along the 555 from competing Gandour (here). Well, the idea - coming from Mink ad agency - is that they made "Marie" into "Tante Marie" - a generous, kind, and very welcoming neighborhood aunt/grandma who is not bothered with the ball falls on her balcony, or the towel, or the singlet, or... Wait is the boy doing this on purpose? I mean - the lady does have a few tricks up her sleeve with the biscuit thingy so it is tempting to just keep knocking on her door. Well the final line is very generic "for every nice moment". Lovely, genuine ad - with one small flaw is that Marie has always been associated with the "other" brand, so not sure how one could switch up to Mastro. See the ad here.

Heineken - between Amsterdam and Beirut

Apparently, despite selling back its majority shares in 2022 of the Brasserie Almaza to the Jabre family, Heineken never left the Lebanese market and the said brewery still retains the sales and distribution rights for all Heineken products on the Lebanese territory. So it is a pleasure to see a Heineken ad at the gates of summer - and especially with the World Cup kicking off soon - somewhere in Lebanon. As far as I saw the ads were not plastered all over, perhaps Brasserie Almaza wishes for its star product to remain center stage, also this could be down to the price factor - with Heineken being 0.5 to 0.6 USD more expensive than its Lebanese counterpart. Still, "born in Amsterdam, enjoyed in Beirut" clearly wishes to differentiate the two products giving one an international cachet. I think this might be to distinguish between the two target audiences.

Khoury home has a great new selling line

A lot of you were either not born, or in diapers, or do not even remember, but Khoury Home, eons ago, started off with "Khoury Home, ma bi sakker wala yawm" (Khoury Home, doesn't close any day). Add very slapstick ads such as a man with his eyeglasses tilted on his face and a shocked look on his face with a line such as "look a the price!" (in English) and you get the drift. Well, that was then. Khoury home, has a new selling line - which I find both pertinent and very smart - "min ghayro?" (who else but him?) because considering the top of mind Khoury Home has for many people, the question does indeed ask itself. As soon as you think for any electronics, home appliance, this, that, one of the first names to come to mind is actually Khoury Home. So yes, "min ghayro?" does stand to reason.