Tele Liban replays its greatest hits for its 67th anniversary

OK facts. Tele Liban had color broadcast before the BBC did (Lebanon got it on October 21, 1967, becoming the third country in the world to do so, utilizing the French SECAM system) and if you want more info please visit the wonderful "La Tele Quelle Histoire" by the incomparable (late) Jean-Claude Boulos (here) and so with the advent of AI, Tele Liban went all out to recreate its greatest hits for its 67th anniversary, when sadly most of the performers (be they actors or singers or humorists) are no longer among us. But to give credit where credit is due, and before Tele Liban became a shadow of its former self - first by having only one competition LBC and then ultimately all other screens combined - was a major force to be reckoned with. Sure, when looking back and comparing to today's standards of production some of the classics do not exactly hold their ground, but also acting wise, we did lose a major crop of incredible actors (some of whom figure in the film). Sure, not everyone made the cut, for obvious reasons, but also there are too many to mention and they manage to do it with the backdrop of the late Melhem Barakat's Eidak Yaln't el Eid celebratory hit.

OK, I am not familiar with the legalities of the AI recreation of these characters - on the one hand yes, Tele Liban does own the original archives (everything from the TV series, to the amateur competitions, etc...) but also, not sure if one can recreate the likeness of people in different settings (case in point the late "Amigo" Hekmat Wehbe who was part of Studio El Fan but the only program he presented was Mala3eb el Sighar and was never a humorist as such on Tele Liban), still not to rain on their parade, the film is a joy to see (and resee and re-resee) have your own delight here.

McDonald's clubhouse

Well, they could have done it without the effort, but an effort was made indeed (previous examples include this beauty here). Whereas they failed on other fronts (here), they do call you to "Join the club", well, yes, for their new clubhouse burger. Again, could have been simpler, more straightforward but someone decided the final target audience deserved to be respected. So they inserted a gimmick to go along. To be fair, last time I was at McDonald's - OK fine, sue me, that was eons ago as I rarely go out, much less to a fast food joint - there were some very lovely internal posters with some witty copy so perhaps some sustained zeal is being done on the whole.

OK fine just for the sake of being even handed, below is a mix of the famous posters inside the shops as taken last year. Still think they are cute.

Spinneys The Hub ads deserve that quote from Pulp Fiction

In the movie Pulp Fiction, Harvey Keitel who plays "the wolf" has a legendary quote "Well, let's not start sucking each other's d**ks quite yet." Because Spinneys seems to have fallen exactly into that with those of-so-self-congratulatory ads post opening their "The Hub" space in Antelias. "Thank you for being part of the experience", "thank you for turning it into معلم سياحي" (touristic landmark), "thank you for 22M views", "thank you for your stories, reels & shares", "thank you for making it your weekend outing". People, please, chill. I mean you can see families searching in dumpsters in broad daylight, everyone has a million financial problems, inflation and shrinkflation are everywhere, everyone is holding to their money with their life trying to see where the priorities are (is it paying electricity bill, or rent or whatever. Because people are suffering massively). So honestly Spinneys is in total disconnect from the reality.

To be clear, no I have not visited The Hub nor do I intend to - not even for research purposes - but I still think this congratulatory tone is tone-deaf, ignores the average person, where at least 35% to 60% of citizens live below the national poverty line, with some studies estimating that up to 80% of the broader population—including Syrian and Palestinian refugees—struggle to meet basic needs. So seriously, Spinneys should stop contemplating its own navel and look at the bigger picture.

Baroud Kariche, a nice ad ruined by its own stupidity

Remember this? (here). Well, perhaps not because apart from marketing teams going "got the whole town talking" and other press release platitudes, no one really cares about those silly teaser/revealers. The problem? This one was actually a nice ad. Really. Why they had to dilute it with a corny teaser is beyond me. I mean the whole "did we invent gunpowder?" (because "Baroud" means gunpowder) - well, the answer is a rather "we didn't invent gunpowder, kariche.. in a new form" (for those who do not know ariche is a creamy tender cheese done with no fat milk whereby vinegar is added to separate the serum) the trick is that the brand is called "Baroud" (a family name in Lebanon). So altogether a fun, decent ad but they had to blow it with a stupid teaser. Pity, because the end product - the ad not the kariche - is actually quite decent.

Sultan Bakery jabs Sande with a good one

Original credit here

Remember Sande? (here). Supposedly the talk of the town in terms of teaser-revealer - at least according to those who created the ad (here). But then as the proverb goes in Lebanese "no one is going to say that their oil is muddy". But interestingly, Sultan Bakery (Khebz el Sultan) a very popular joint in Lebanon, has had the interesting point of view of criticizing Sande where it hurts the most - the freshness angle. Their take? "sa badna taza" (we need freshly backed goods) because yes, this is what Sultan Bakery does, it bakes its products daily. Lovely of course that they used the same typography as Sande all while showing how their croissants look from the inside in an appetizing way.

Let Meryl Streep go to Prada hell, or Zeit Boulos hell, or Roadster hell

 

In 2001 Rachid Daif wrote a novel "Tostofel Meryl Streep" which was translated as "Let Meryl Streep go to hell". So today I was made aware of an AI of Meryl Streep advertising Zeit Boulos which came back hot on the heels of Roadster using her image with the line from movie The Devil Wears Prada "Don't be ridiculous Andrea, everyone wants this" as she holds a Roadster meal inside a VIP seat in a cinema.

Need I go futher? Roadster and Zeit Boulos are small fish, no one cares about suing them. But this is beyond idiotic. Remember - Microsoft sued a teenage Canadian for establishing a company called Mike Roe Soft which is actually his name. Chasing name and likeness is truly a risky game and no, Meryl Streep would never license her image to some food chain in Lebanon or a company that does Lebanese "moune" (as Boulos oil is trying to rebrand itself - here). So where do we go from here? We go to what happened to the viral gender reveal where the "grandma" looked incredibly young and fresh.

Images below are for brands that used her likeness in ads without authorization:

The woman got plastered on ads for everything and anything. ArabAd asked in their post on Linkedin (here) "where do we draw the line?" my answer was "at decency". Naji Boulos, the current editor in chief at ArabAd replied to me with "The item you requested is currently not available online."

Surely "Teta" (grandma) can sue. But truly we are in an age where advertisers and brands should remember "just because you can, it doesn't mean you should".

About that statistic about the % of PhD holders in Lebanon

Remember that article, way back, about Lebanon being the 4th most prosperous nations in the world (here)? Well, that was a figure I could easily dismantle. And I did. Since a couple of days, I have seen statistics about the top ten % of people holding a PhD in the Arab world. Lebanon is on top. 

I know what you are going to say - Tarek, you do not have a PhD, go get one and start arguing later. Sorry people, the reason I did not push for a PhD that my thesis - the one I wanted to do - was unclassifiable in the archaic system of the Lebanese universities. Basically, it could not be put under history, or sociology or politics. Add to this how universities in Lebanon are regressing by following something called "Ta7did masar" (path fixing) - meaning someone like me who did agriculture engineering and environmental economics is barred from doing a PhD in a different domain unless I take about 32 credits at a time when academia is being amorphous and open throughout the world.

Now, to go back to the original topic - most universities and yes, I stand by my words - have little or no understanding of what a PhD is, they have nothing to do with the accepted nomenclature of what is called a thesis, and are certainly divorced from the facts of what research methodology is. So the level of academia is regressing sharply in Lebanon, yet increasing threateningly in terms of numbers. I have had the pleasure of lecturing throughout the world - without a PhD - to know what research is and what it can bring to the life.

Do note, I know incredible people in Lebanon who are worth their weight in terms of research and thinking, and it is always a pleasure to play intellectual ping pong with them. But, make no mistake, for many - too many sadly - in Lebanon to be called Dr so and so trumps the real meaning of actually having something to discuss or teach or knowledge to impart and share.

Which is why I find the number above very alarming. As it does not reflect anything on the ground and is divorced from real and true academia. In my AUB diploma the words written are that I am to enjoy "the duties and privileges" that come with it. Make no mistake duties come before privileges, so drop your title and think what it means above all.

Almaza goes back to silly shenanigans

I said it since 2023 (here and here) and I stand by every word. Almaza is working without any strategy. They are going through what I call the "spaghetti theory" - throw things on the wall and see what sticks. And here is another proof. Their new summer Rosé (the fruity beer) ad. Now they picked French, because yes, why not? "Pince-moi, je reve" (pinch me I am dreaming) - or more like pinch me I am having a nightmare. So yes, they picked a crab, trying to open the bottle, this time with a background of a setting sun. And so here we are, another boneless trial. All of this could be great had it had a strategy behind it. I assure you, it does not.

Enough with your unneeded teaser-revealer ads

The 80s are back - well minus Naf Naf, Sebago, Rubick's cube, Transformers and Studio Line (because everyone wanted to sculpt their hair!) - at least on the Lebanese ad front, they are. Why? Here's some samples - here, here, here, here, here, here. The common link? Teaser and revealer ads. People, please! Here's the thing, if you believe the marketing teams behind these disposable ads, they all (and I am quoting from Linkedin) "ensued a frenzy", "became the talk of the town", "were on everyone's lips", and I go on endlessly.

Even as someone who has worked in the field since forever, I can promise you this: No one gives a damn, no one cares, the country and its people are grappling with more problems than anything logical, everyone is incredibly price sensitive in all sectors, breadwinners (no matter their gender) are trying to see how to best allocate meager incomes, and you know what? Your silly teaser of an ad is of no one's interest, and even if it was, it fails at the end point. By end point, I mean converting targeted audience to shoppers.

Middle class people are not going to rush to some mega-market, or choose a brand of paint because of specific model, and the examples go on and on. And guess what? There is another teaser in town. Because of course, we don't need it and they still think it will end up "on every lip". Yes, sure...

Colabz.ai - if I can do the magic so can you.

Well well, who knew a luddite like me can actually access and dabble with an AI site (not me, for sure). Yet here we are colabz.ai - seriously. To begin with, you can enter with your google account (phew, for me to register new name and passwords and whatever else sites ask for is a drama - remember, I did say I am luddite). And bingo - I am in. Are there - some very very well economically priced programs (from yearly to per-image, going on to many other permutations) yes, but cheap as I am I went through the free one. 

Well and there you go - you have both photo and video options which even with the free entry offers too many choices. Skin enhancer, remove background, erase, replace background, extend, upscale, add text, image to video, model swap, you name it, it there and that's just the image manipulation options. I am just starting with the video option...

With my OCD kicking in, I have spent an inordinate amount of time having fun. Work called, but who cares when one is having so much fun!

Politics in Lebanon: Let's hear it from Ricardo Karam, Makram Rabah and Alexadre Paulikevitch

Make love not war - Artwork by Tarek Chemaly date 2018

Politics in Lebanon. You are always torn between a rock and a hard place. I know people who wanted to liberate Lebanon from Syrian influence but also loved Saudi Arabia which basically was the de facto power which gave the Syrians a free hand in Lebanon. I know others who hate Israel viscerally and also hate the hizb with the same zeal, even if technically if it is the hizb that chased the neighboring power away. Of course, the current negotiations between Lebanon and Israel are not going anything to end the beef between the two factions. Accusations of being defeatists to traitors, are slung from both sides.

So everyone is right and everyone is wrong. As Alexandre Dumas eloquently said in The Count of Monte-Christo, "The difference between treason and patriotism is only a matter of dates". Yet, take it from someone who no longer votes - because, no, voting with a blank vote means you believe in the process but not the candidates, when all the process makes no sense to me at this point - yes, everyone's point of view does make sense. Even if each side has no idea what to do with the other.

Recently, Ricardo Karam, who is a respected media figure, basically stated - and I am giving you the gist of it - that he considers Hezbollah a Lebanese political party that is represented in Parliament, arguing that this is a "factual reality" rather than a political declaration. Makram Rabah, assistant professor at the American University of Beirut was having none of it, in a recent publication (here), he went all out against Karam, emphasizing the many literal martyrs AUB has offered to Lebanon, and - considering Karam was part of the board of trustees of the university, and in light of the recent threats to the university to have it bombed - it being at the forefront of the American values in Lebanon (supposedly, and it is my Alma Mater too as a full disclosure) - to Rabah that a major no-no.

Which brings Alexandre Paulikevitch to the melee. Pauliketvitch, a Lebanese artist, is nothing but the major antithesis of everyone ultra conservative. Like him or not, he expresses himself on stage in ways that might ruffle too many feathers. Lately, in an interview, Paulikevitch dressed in what seemed like a Y2K floral feminine top, said that he hinds himself confused. He had always had a major hate-hate relationship with the Hizb. But he also finds that they are truly the only power capable of chasing Israel away. And now he finds himself defending them as a "resistance" all while understanding that he represents all the liberal ideals they hate.

Paulikevitch makes sense. The problem? So does Karam and Rabah. "I see both sides like Chanel" said Frank Ocean. And I can, I swear. Oh scratch that, I can see all sides, not just both. 

Recently, I was hoping to do the major weed clearing behind my property and perhaps putting some cement to cut the weeds from returning, my Dutch friend said that "the government of the Netherlands is encouraging people to keep such spaces, so that insects can grow" to which I replied "can the government of the Netherlands please come and do the weed pulling then? I pay 5 USD per hour".

You see, away from the major threatening problems engulfing Lebanon, for some of us like Voltaire ended Candide, "but we must cultivate our garden".

Deek Duke, and a very dispiriting ad at the gates of summer

Photo credit Stephanie Abou Jaoudeh

I don't think I understand this ad. Maybe because this ad is not directed to me. Or maybe this ad does not make sense. Either way it left me confused. This menu lifts. Why? Because it has high protein, low-cal? I mean I admit I took two nutrition course at AUB and I was good in neither one of them, but I still don't get it. Worse, what kind of imagery is this? Yes yes I know it is a "Deek" because the brand is Deek Duke (literally rooster roosters). Still, the ad is neither appealing, nor sexy, not indicative of anything at the gates of summer. Pity, I do remember when the shop was one branch only in Achrafieh and was truly exceptional in everything. But then novelty wears thin after so many years.

Annahar gets itself an incomprehensible selling line

As I always say, advertising is becoming too smart for me. File this under: I seriously have no clue what this means. OK so Annahar newspaper has a selling line which am assuming is perhaps new as not seen it before. Annahar in Arabic means "the day". The line? Clear sight in the peak of the day. Now, correct me if I am mistaken - how would this position the newspaper or give it an edge over, you know, natural light? As far as I can "see" (sorry for the pun) there is none. What does the paper bring me then? No idea. How does this place the paper over and above any other media is mysterious to me. I have spoken prior about the use of the brand inside selling lines (here) with exceptional examples from Kiri cheese, or Fairy washing liquid. Well, suffice to say, this is not one of them.

Turkish Airlines blows the house down with its graphics

Turkish Airlines is announcing that its flights to Lebanon, Syrian and Jordan are back. Could have slipped easily under the radar. But no! They really nailed their graphics to a T. That famous motif on coffee cups from Lebanon? The beautiful Damascene tiles? The specific cross-stitching from Jordan? Yes and yes and yes. Truly one needs to know societies well in order not to put everyone under the same umbrella or just stereotype "something oriental" and get on with it. The animation can be seen here. The small copy accompanying it also says "Our flights are resuming once again to destinations rich in history and known for their unique cultural presence."

Balkis - afandi sans wordplay

Balkis (here, here, here and here as examples). Balkis previously advertised its mandarine (afandi) flavor before. Here's what I said back then: (for) the mandarine flavor - they go "charraf el afandi" (Afandi is a title from the Ottoman era which means "Gentleman" or "sir" and still used in Lebanon as a valuable way of addressing someone, the word also means "mandarine") and "charraf" means "he is here" (do note in my archive I have and ad for Balkis Afandi flavor since 2004 so I guess this is a reissue of an old flavor.

Interestingly, the new ad does not feature the witty wordplay - as to why is beyond me because it really worked. Also, and this is me and my OCD memory: Pity I do not have their first ad - which is not present in my archive - which simply said "3a fekra" which translates as "by the way" or "here's a thought" and it was simply introducing pure natural juice.

Sande - the teaser/revealer we did not need.

Image credit Reva Berbari

Some say it was a stroke of genius. Others - OK fine, just me - are tired of corny teaser/revealer ads. People we are no longer in the 80s for heaven's sake. But hey, it seems brands love it (for a mysterious reason!). So here we are: Sande. The name is beautiful to be clear, the packaging much less so. Sande means some sort of a back up, or someone to have your back. And it is a very fitting name for croissant, chocolate cream pie, cheese sandwich or anything else you have as a filler (the name of the brand is byte apparently and they have been in the market for more than a year but sales were very sluggish). Now, here's the question: if they did a regular ad without teaser/revealer would they have had the same impact? I personally think they would have, the line is strong enough to have carried the ad without paying for 2 ads at once.

Samsung - summer is here with Galaxy A57/ A37 5G

OK, so that's a lot of things at the same time, first Samsung wishes you an awesome summer, in the meantime there's also the Galaxy A57/ A 37 5G, with a lot of visuals in tow, so basically I am not sure if this is an ad for their new generation of smartphones, or for the brand at large, or for just enticing people to enjoy summer, or any combination thereof. Well, the ad repeats itself on many digital screens which is interesting - but no sign of it on any printed billboards. So I guess it is a mix of all the above. And as I said previously with everyone still saying how chilly the weather is, not sure summer is already on the menu.

Vaseline: Winter glow? For spring? Groundbreaking!

So who knew the wrong timing would be right bang on time? Vaseline - with its "own your winter glow" in May could have been a misfire. But considering the freezing weather we had in Lebanon, including 8 meters of condensed snow in Ainata-El Arz where snow ploughs could barely open a pedestrian road, and rain galore and people regretting taking out their carpets already, suddenly "own your winter glow" (here) from Pimo does not seem too farfetched! And so voila, you could still apres-ski at this time of year I suppose, just put on some Vaseline with it.

Toters adds three more cars for the win!

Remember Toters Fresh and their promise to win one car? (here). Well scratch that because now they are back with a vengeance, or rather a promise to win three cars not just one (apparently, 3 cars over and above the original one) and the ad goes "there is a traffic jam of winning, because we have added three cars!" - well the play on words works actually - you know traffic jam in its clin d'oeuil to too many cars awaiting. Now obviously, Toters - according to statistics controls 71% of the delivery market so they are making heaps of money to afford to offer 4 cars. Interestingly, the brands of the cars are not relevant meaning that the lottery in question is not done in conjunction with any brand wishing to advertise itself.

Beirut Beer delivers summer after/despite diluvian rains

Photo credit Mohamad Haidar

Beirut Beer - and how many times did I say it prior that it is a good thing it is stepping out of the shadow of Almaza and branching out on its own (from here to here and finally here passing through many steps and missteps). Now Beirut Beer has a limited edition summer bottles. The problem is that no one could have anticipated the diluvian rains which struck Lebanon for two days and the very cold weather still blanketing anywhere outside Beirut (where I am - people are still in heavy jackets).

But summer will come, want it or not. So Beirut Beer is anticipating that (again, the incredibly bad weather is still here even despite the sun). But hey, cheers!