For advertising "money's too tight to mention" yet everyone is squandering it

Above, the latest idiotic, stupid, uninteresting, corny, run-of-the-mill, non-inspiring teaser ad to hit town. If you are looking for more, please check here. Apart from the lack of logic - such as this great ad here which was ruined by a teaser - my other problem is that clients argue about things as small as 10 USD, ask for a lot to be done with ultra minimal budgets, want to review anything ten thousand times for free, want to have their wives' or girlfriends' (should I say and?) opinions to be registered, get moody, unpredictable, even when the ad is already at the printers or scheduled online suddenly the green shirt must be blue, and examples can go on and on. Long story short, for a company that is trying to squeeze its buck to the maximum allowable, why they are throwing it out the window on silly teasers - forget what agencies are saying that they are "the talk of the town" and what not - when they could get better coverage without imposing these 80s gimmicks on us. To quote Nike in their legendary Atlanta 1996 ad "don't insult our intelligence. Tell us what it is, tell us what does, and don't play the national anthem while you do it." (here).

Advertising agencies think they are smart. To quote that episode of Who's the Boss when Angela tried to explain to her mother Mona why there is a bubble gum dispenser in her advertising agency "it says we are unique and original, mom every company has one". So, here's a message to ad agencies: No, the public does not exactly await your revealers, people are tired, pseudo-broke, living in a literally war-torn country, so no one exactly is focusing on your money squandering so that you and the client self-congratulate yourself.

So to quote the latest teaser to hit town, "really, it's not worth this much hassle". True, it is not. Save your pennies, and save our patience which is running out.

Suyool - the uncola of banking

Just to be clear, I am usually against the "anti" positioning. Beirut Beer did its whole idea as an anti-Almaza so much it forgot its own positive points as a brand. The only time it truly worked was how 7UP labelled itself as the Uncola - pitting itself against Pepsi and Coca-Cola for a crowd that did not subscribe to either (with a brilliant campaign to boot - which included hallucinogenic and surreal art). Which brings us to Suyool App (not to be confused with the Bank of Beirut Soyoula program which was launched long long ago and most likely now defunkt). The ad is nice - it shows that this is an app that works as a bank including withdrawals and sending money etc. Most likely this is like a local Venmo. What makes the ad interesting is the "ma tbannek" line at the end. It has the pun of "ma tpannek" (do not panic which is one of the verbs in foreign languages used in Arabic) but also "do not use banks" - it also includes "shadde" and "kasra" two Arabic attributes specific to the language. See the full ad here.

Purpl - #ExpectTheExpected

First, please check their website here. So with Lebanon becoming a cash economy, with people have little to no faith in banks at this point and those who already have accounts have sought ways to empty them or cash them out or are in the process of doing so (to varying degrees of success, the smaller the account the easier one can do that and the bigger the account the more complicated the issue), and with Western Union and OMT basically making a killing, Purpl is looking for its share of the pie.

OK so the process is a bit convoluted, read it here, but since this is physical and tangible money we are speaking of, and since fraud is to be eliminated I guess one has to go through many steps to establish an account and eventually send/receive money via the app (which can be cashed out at ATM points).

I do like the #ExpectTheExpected to be honest, because it riffs on the "expected" money but also on the fact that one gets their due as it was sent (which if I understood correctly from a different ad this is what was to happen).

Again, with everyone trying to avoid banks, Purpl colors us red in envy.

We are fine in Lebanon, set our mind at ease about you.

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

In 2021, I wrote about the fact in Lebanon, problems shared are not problems halved (here).

But 2021 seems like a different life altogether even if problems were still going strong. Because now we got turbo-charged and the whole country seems completely adrift on all levels, specifically economical level - oh mind you, the fact that we have no president, a caretaker government and a parliament which is hanging by a thread seems like something "in the background of the photo". If you have not bought anything as of late, you might be excused not to understand, if you did, you might be excused to be too exhausted to lament.

Still, I often wonder - is a problem a problem? No matter the magnitude, the scale, the proportion? I keep hearing from people I know in the UK that tomatoes are no longer present on the shelves in shops. A friend in Brussels wrote about how people are renting a bed in a room for 750 Euros a month. Oh yes, and the French are up in arms because of what is supposed to be the retirement age going up from 62 to 64. And the list goes on.

Why am I writing this? I honestly don't know. I mean, a friend in Germany tried consoling me saying "oh just have a mug of hot chocolate" - until I linked him to the page of a local supermarket and translated the prices of the said hot chocolate options. His eyes popped.

I mean seriously, I am sure there are parts of the world where the situation is worse than Lebanon. Hey, even in Lebanon, you might say I am remnants of what used to be the middle the middle class (for an analysis of the middle class go here) meaning I still have means of survival when others do not (ergo, "why are you complaining?"). 

But again, it is like we are drowning in problems, yes, even the remnant of the middle class is. A person I know - who prior to the crisis was extremely affluent - had to forego his rented apartment and moved back to the villa of his parents and he has to readjust the basement floor to fit him, his wife, two children, mother in law while his mother and househelp where in the first floor - honestly I felt for the man as his wi-fi kept breaking in the basement as he called me as he does periodically and explaining to me that he is adjusting the screws of one of his children's beds.

This is where the "but there are people worse off than you" kicks in. Or - what someone told me lately - "Tarek the rich man is not the one who has the most but the one who needs the less". Well, I have always been frugal, I have always needed very few things. Then why is it that when going to the store it looked as if I robbed Fort Knox while leaving home? I was carrying a wad of cash so big it was embarrassing.

I am reminded of the wonderful satirical song by Khaled El Habr "we are fine in Gaza, set our mind at ease about you" (nahou bi kheir fi Gaza tamminou ankom). So, I guess we are fine in Lebanon, set our mind at ease about you.

So apparently stoicism was the answer all along for the Lebanese

Zeno of Citium (Founder of the Stoicism) - Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

So lately I read an article about stoicism (here). As a Lebanese person in the middle of the never-ending storm, who lost all his finances in the crash despite all the measures I had taken, and as someone who struggles daily with the multitude of problems surrounding us, the word "resilient" gets on my nerves.

I don't want to be resilient anymore, there's really limits to everything and we have crossed these limits long, long ago. But as Watson (Lucy Liu) told Holmes (John Lee Miller) in that wonderful episode in Elementary: "What if we are looking at it the wrong way?" (Episode's name "blood is thicker than water" in case you are wondering), maybe looking at things from a skewed angle could help.

What if with a "rebrand" or a "reword" we can actually look at the situation differently. First, let us remember that there is something called "Jantalagen" in the Nordic societies - basically it is that no one is better than anyone else. As a matter of fact, basically people in Nordic countries simply do not talk about their salary or about money. A CEO or a company once confided in me that what's with taxes being higher in Sweden with larger salaries he was bringing home less than his employees, so much that he had to construct his "summer home" (a term Swedes use for their second houses usually in peripheral or countryside towns) with his own hands because he could not afford workers.

So basically, if we replace "resilience" by "stoicism" - a fancy word related to a philosophical thought which has clear principles, perhaps this is the answer which was eluding us. To learn more about stoicism please go here.

I think what most impressed me in that discourse is (and I am copying from this source) the words of stoic philosopher Epictetus: "Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions." 

Now, I am short, thin, and diabetic since 2013 - this covers the body part. Reputation? Well, depending whom you ask I have been either praised to the highest level or trashed to the lowest one - I developed a thick skin so it is fine (my record still remains 23 hate mails from a local agency in 2011 though). Property is the tricky part - the financial crash affected me mentally more than I dared even imagine - sure I am very proactive so I saved whatever I could save no matter how big or small but all this was incredibly challenging to me because the money was supposed to some "future insurance" for my old age. 

Marcus Aurelius one of the most famous stoics wrote: "When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil." which makes me wonder which Lebanese bank exactly did Marcus Aurelius place his money in. 

Because at this point things are indeed that way, and one needs to be resilient stoic to deal with it on daily basis.

OMT - more reliable than a bank for the Lebanese

 OMT - well, trust me Lebanese people trust OMT at this stage more than any other bank or financial institution. For a long time, OMT was one of the rare players in the financial industry which actually gave what it promised, and allowed people to send - though let's be honest, mainly receive - money in what is now called "fresh" Dollars (as opposed to the stuck Dollars in the banks). So for many, this has been a breathing lung.

So their campaign "next to you no matter the circumstances" is honestly not a stretch of reality because they have accompanied the Lebanese in the what is truly the worse, the most maddening, delflating  and trialing periods since the crisis broke in 2019.

The visuals, even if a little cliche, actually make sense - photos of families being close to one another because let's face it, when one bails you with much-needed money, this is how close families become.

Lebanon: Defeats should not define us.

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly based on a Hussein Hajj quote

Yesterday on Linkedin Tahaab Rais posted about a man who was writing his own headlines instead of reading the depressing ones in the press. Things like "husband loves wife today". You can read the post here. Now this has been a strange weekend for me. Not my usual deep-thinking mode. More like thoughts passing through my head as I was reading. And I added a reply to Tahaab's post. Here it is verbatim: "being in Lebanon is not exactly an easy thing these days. I thought: OK, I lost an enormous amount of money at the bank, electricity comes in batches of 2 hours a day, I have not had any serious work since (I am afraid to think since when!). Meat, water, power all of them rationed. And still - I am able to care for my elderly mother (at 86 is it not a picnic), a friend just gifted me 5 boxes of impossible-to-find meds of hers, I am still able to pay the bills (again, no mean feat!), I live in a beautiful house (I actually almost single-handedly restored in 2003), and I inherited around 1000 books from a British journalist who had to be medically evacuated from Lebanon (which I read when the power is down and summer light still up!). All this to say, OK, the world is bleak right now (specifically in a place like Lebanon), but am pulling through (certainly not easily). That old man is correct - 2020 should not define us, Defeats should not define us as well. The world goes on, so do we."

And so here we are - who would have thought I would be putting a positive spin on what happened? But - again - I can lament as much as I can about what happened, my generosity included. But this will not change things. Or the outcomes. Without any doubt, this was a case of trial by fire - not just for me - but for the whole Lebanese population. Still, it was a perfect storm as I called it earlier, with each element just feeding the others. But again, onwards and upwards.

Defeats should not define us. But that one hell of a defeat.

SMS goes tongue in cheek

Hmmm, how about this for a double-entendre: "To every thief in this country, you can't beat a Lebanese" - the ad by SMS (who formerly graced us with this) is actually for them selling safes. So whereas "political" on the upfront, it is actually a less direct way to say that Lebanese stash away their money in safes (or more mundane places if you ask me - the pocket of a special jacket in the closet, a specific yet non-descript shoe box, or what the Dutch call "an old sock" - a place no one else would think about to deter thieves). But hey, the ad actually works. 

SMS Money counter - a solution to a new problem

Well, here is your solution to when counting large amounts of money - presumably Lebanese currency. Because if you were that awash in cash you'd probably not be Lebanese or at least average Lebanese. But again, exchange offices aside Lebanese are buying mini safes and perhaps counters as well since trust in banks are minimal and everyone is keeping stashes if cash if late in safe places at home. There you go, new problem? Improvised solution!

Consumers are irrational: I went shopping

Remember the other day how I ranted about people queuing at Zara and the Lebanese being a populace that "btedayyan ta tetzayyan"? Well, call me hypocrite - I went shopping (OK, I did not borrow money, but still). Well, the original purpose of the trip was to deliver things to my sister in law. I told our house help who fears Coronavirus irrationally and who has been fantasizing about buying clothes for a long time that she could accompany me to save her taxi money anyway.

Now, truth be told, I did need a pair of pants. The other day I went to town and came back with red patches on my thighs following me wearing my skinny jeans in the scorching heat. And with me losing so much weight due to diabetes finding pants my size are more a miss than a hit. Well, it turned out Calvin Klein produced too many children pants, and an outlet store was selling them a less than 2 Dollars.

Oh and rest assured our house help bought several items too, got all dressed up at home and I took photos of her in the new attire and the result was sent to her friends and family.

So where is the irrational part? The irrational part is the quarter zip jacket from the Puma x Han Kjobenhavn collaboration (my size no less!), deeply discounted, and sitting there waiting for me (or for any other irrational sucker)! Now, did I "need" such a piece in my wardrobe? It all depends what "need" means, because I certainly was not leaving that piece for any other person (not at that price, and not with my size being available).

Long story short, I am eyeing another pair of pants. But the rational me - which took over again - is saying "wait until you straighten your financial affairs with the bank in two weeks".

I - even with hearing aids on - ended up listening to the rational me.

Now, the question that begs itself: Do I "need" those deeply discounted Church's shoes?

I told you, consumers are irrational.

BOB finance compares itself to itself!

BOB finance has an intriguing ad: "there is the bank and there is us". Technically, no issue. But BOB means Bank of Beirut! Let me understand - a company that is an offshoot of a bank says there is the bank and there is them. It is like comparing apples to.... Apples. Basically - no comparison!

Lebanon defaulted, now what?

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

I hope and wish there would be someone who knows what will happen now. Banks had their assets frozen and unfrozen, they were asked to buy back the bonds they sold as these bonds give extra leverage when restructuring to the entities they were sold to. Oh and we decided to default on our international payments, with some saying the Lebanese gold is at stake and some saying it was just a tactic for banks to get their dues. Which really means there is a lot of scenarios, too much speculation, incredible amount of info - but also uncertainty by the bucket-load. Are banks going to play the "too big to fail" gimmick? I doubt. This time they are really on the edge and no matter how much they benefited from previous financial engineering gimmicks in the past this is a different ballgame. Still, here we are "standing calmly at the crossroad no desire to run, there's no hurry anymore when all is said and done" to quote ABBA. A decision was taken, a very serious one at that.

Antoine Saliba and the diamond investment.

Real Estate? Check (here and here) Home appliances? Check (here) and now diamonds as per Antoine Saliba. All these are pretexts to release your lollars from the bank, to protect your investment and to baically find a way out of the current banking-financial mess. Well, whereas these ideas seemed outrageous in the past, these days if they involve taking the money out of the bank and investing it anyhere else (no matter the depreciation!) suddenly they look logical. Appealing even. The problem with a diamond ring is that usually it brings a wife with it, then a family, so that sort of increases spending.

IDM converts customers' payment to Lebanese pound.

Well, here's a nice gesture - IDM is converting client payments to Lebanese Lira. Big deal? Yes. To those living under a rock, Lebanon now has two Dollar exchange rates. The official - the one that comes ftom the Central Bank (1507) and the volatile black market one (please do not be fooled by the 2000 rate that the syndicate of exchangers has fixed - Dan Azzi explains why clearly here). Now, you'll say companies are sheltered from this. Actually not true, because even CEOs have to buy things from shops and each one is behaving differently on the matter so they too - are exposed to a varying price. Which makes this gesture kind of nice to customers.