Sandwich w Noss is - actually not funny

Where does one begin?

Over a canned laughter track "television w noss" has a new video for "sandwich w noss" which is an ad for its "starters" namely its hot chicken wings. The video is entitled "the sound of our crispiness gets to Cyprus" which has nothing to do with the images to begin with. So, the "joke" is that the chicken is so hot that the "director" discretely hands the "presenter" (doing a parody of another show) a bottle of water from under the table (yes, very funny - yawn)

Actually, the copy is meh, the delivery annoying, the concept is - deflating. The only thing pseudo funny is the scroller at the bottom of the TV screen "this sentence is superfluous, why are you still reading?".

Actually, this ad is superfluous, why are you still watching?

At your own risk and peril go here.

Wooden Bakery and its tasteless discount ad. Moulin d'or Rebukes

Well, I have no solid statistics but I know for a fact that what's with poverty climbing to 55% of the population, what's with inflation hitting all prices, what's with devaluation wiping chunks of purchasing power, and many other factors compounded, a large percentage of the Lebanese population desires to leave the country, and that a huge number of those who are dual nationals have already left, and day on day off we hear about those risking their lives at sea with the "death boats" sailing from places such as Tripoli where people pay smugglers to get them across the Mediterranean. If I say all this, it is because of an ad that appeared yesterday and is of totally poor taste (sorry for the pun).

Wooden Bakery had an ad for its 32,000 Manoushe down from 38,000 (thyme or cheese on a dough) that went "those who immigrated have suffered a loss" (implicitly "cannot benefit from this offer")... To say the ad was met with derision and scorn would be an understatement. The satiric account Peter Wen Maken on Instagram issued a funny rebuke whereby planes are seen getting back to "benefit from the offer" (see here), another frustrated person left a comment on the ad that said "stuff your 5,000" (meaning the presumed discount) to which Wooden Bakery answered "6,000" unaware it was adding fuel to the fire rather than appearing funny.

Seriously, at some point, brands must read the room. People are literally struggling on day to day basis, anyone who is anyone is trying by hook or by crook to leave the land. To say that those immigrated suffered a loss is neither sarcastic nor cute, but rather tone-deaf and demeaning when those who are left here are truly barely making it till the end of the month.

Well, to misquote that comment, "stuff your 6000".

And in one of those strokes of genius, Moulin d'or gives Wooden Bakery the perfect rebuke. "Nope those who immigrated did not lose a good deal, we deliver to the world". Well, at least someone did something smart with this!

Sandwich w Noss bids Zomato goodbye!

Oh wow isn't this a nice gesture! Sandwich w Noss bids Zomato (the food delivering app which is leaving the Lebanese market amid the financial crisis) goodbye with a lovely ad. "Ra7 nechta2lak ya chrik" - we'll miss you buddy/partner - all this done in the way of a poster hung on the some anonymous wall in Beirut. Mind you Sandwich w Noss lost its Mar Mekhael branch in the August 2020 explosion, and like all other restaurants, has been deeply affected by the economic instability which is storming through Lebanon. Below is the farewell message from Zomato itself:

Casper & Gambini's - 25th year anniversary

Casper & Gambini's are celebrating their 25th anniversary! If I understood correctly they licensed their name all across the region, the brand still has a very respectable resonance. A google search tells me about their current whereabouts in Lebanon (I am not the typical audience for going out, mind you). On all accounts, the film is dipped in sepia colors, is incredibly well art-directed by Maya Metni, breathes homeliness, breezes with authenticity and is both a celebration of the staff (with many of them appearing in an earlier still campaign), and the customers alike (hello Sandra!) who are younger than the average Casper crowd. But in all honesty, if we are celebrating memories, the film works perfectly with the ambiance, colors, shades and otherwise general vibe hitting the correct notes.

So here we are - on to the next 25! See the full film here.

On the two Lebanons living on my Instagram

So yesterday as I was scrolling through my Instagram in the stories section someone posted some alarming statistics "Lebanon: Nearly 80 percent of households do not have food or money to buy food, UN warns". A very startling figure to put it mildly, which can easily explain some of the social agitation, tire-burning, road-closing the country is seeing as of late (I say "some" as to quote another person "chaos is never innocent"). 

But Instagram is also obviously advertising-based. So right next to the image showing the UN statistics, there was an ad for a very upscale internet-only app-based salad bar. You know the kind, the one that sells keto and paleo-diet based dishes (I am not inventing this, this is the label of the advertised dishes), vegetarian-only portions, or gluten-free items, and which has "influencers" peddling its products all over their account and the list continues.

I am a very basic eater mind you, though surprisingly due to my weight which has drastically gone down due to diabetes, I tend to go for large portions. But picky I am not. So it is a bit surprising how come I was targeted by that ad especially that none of my scrolling involves food. Still, I checked the online store and a meal for a regular family (provided they would appreciate tastes such a little off their usual menu) would set you back easily around 600,000 Liras - considering the minimum wage in Lebanon is 675,000 Liras, you do the math.

Just to be clear, this is by no means a criticism but rather a description. Long, long ago, a journalist criticized me for saying this sentence (although she gave a glowing review of my first solo show back in 2002). But I keep standing by it. If you have the means to afford a meal from such a shop, then by all means enjoy it. But also this is the same country where around 80 percent do not have food or money for food (if you look closer to the statistics they are even more distressing - 30% of children are missing an essential meal every day, 60% of families are buying food on credit, and 15% stopped sending their children to school while 25% cannot afford tools for online learning).

But this is Lebanon. Lebanons, plural. Of course, every country has these disparities, but Lebanon has the disadvantage of being too small geographically, and such disparities are there, naked to the eye, too close to be hidden. Paleo diet and no diet coexisting in a small space which is too narrow on the bird's eye view.

Yet, to quote that well-to-do girl who was sitting in a trendy pub in Gemmayze when asked about what was happening in the Southern suburb of Beirut in 2006 (basically the suburb was being pummeled by Israeli airstrikes practically flattening it almost entirely), her ennui-filled answer was: "Je m'en fous".

Gandour Foods excels in tags

Gandour Foods aces when it comes to hashtags. Now am not a believer in the power of tags, still, at least this one is interesting copy wise. It all started with Gandour foods deciding to team up with coach Adam Khoury to entice its clients to take better care of their health. Health in Arabic means "so7a". And well, when one eats, instead of saying bon appetit, we say "so7tein" (two healths - Arabic, like Slovenian and a small part of the Serbian language has singular, dual, and plural). Which gave rise to the Gandour tag #الصحة_صارت_صحتين - health becomes two healthy. Again, not sure how effective but at least well done. See video here.