In Lebanon, football is a religion that transcends religion

These words I wrote date back to October 22, 2022 (here):

"Sometime in 1993, at AUB, I pretended to be interested in football. It was a Monday, and for some obscure reason, I knew Ansar had a match during the weekend, and so I asked "so what did Ansar do?" - my friend - a bit incredulous at my knowledge - answered back "they won 2-0". Then a light went up and I remembered that someone else told me they were watching a Safa match during the weekend, so I pushed my luck and asked again "and what did Safa do?" - this is when my friend cocked his head in exasperation and said - "Tarek, they were playing against Ansar!".

And this ended my pretention knowing anything about football. Until I was branded non-feminist (I am still reeling for this!) for commenting on the ad for Le Mall which dates back to 2010 when Le Mall had a series of ads for women and football. Just to be clear I had to google Mannschaft to understand the joke in the ad." (here)

If I am repeating these words that is because in Lebanon, there is religion, and football religion. Whereas sects, and then religions (the first comes before the latter) are able to unify people against one another (tried and tested, just look at current Lebanon or at any part of its past - starting from the city-states that the Greek labelled Phoenicia as a hodge-podge lump-sum) and flame the deep hatred people can have for one another based precisely on which interpretation of the "deity" they belong to.

And then there's football. A cross-over, all-encompassing, parasol-agglomerating "faith" capable of transcending that small detail as to which denomination of "God/Allah" you were born under. To be clear, there are many small fandoms. But the Brazil-Germany rivalry (more like total and complete hatred) runs very deep. Sure, you have splinters of "les Bleus" (France), some Argentina fans (put that under Messi lovers), oddly very few Portugal supporters (I guess the Ronaldo effect did not encompass love for a whole nation), and perhaps there are others (never seen any England fans truth be told anywhere, and despite the current craze about Erling Haaland, Norway is still shy from being a sensation anywhere).

So to go back to the original thesis, yes, football can create interlaps where religion cannot. Also, this is perhaps - other than politics and elections - where the notion of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" applies to a T. Let's be honest Paraguay is not high on top of anyone's fandom this World Cup. But who eliminated Germany? Paraguay. By pure sheer twisted logic, any Brazilian fan becomes a Paraguay supporter. Conversely who is enamored by Croatia? German fans obviously - same reasoning - it threw Brazil out of the tournament.

Now of course, what I described above is an understatement. The convoys led by Brazilian fans with a huge coffin baring the German flag when Germany lost, or the humongous Brazilian flag which covers a complete street as it is drawn between two opposing buildings (with the help of a truck-mounted lift, borrowed from the man who has the diesel generator in the street or from the cousin who works at the municipality outright) or the car with a decal of the Portuguese flag on its hood are much more indicative of the magnitude of the fandom.

It is Liverpool FC manager Bill Shankly who famously said, "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that." 

And also to quote the same club (after the Gerry & The Pacemakers) song (funnily popularized by the same Mister Shankly) "you'll never walk alone". This World Cup, no respectable German or Brazilian fan will have to bow out alone. This being said:

¡Felicidades, campeones!

Ronaldo comes cheap as a propaganda instument for KSA

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

So superstar footballer Ronaldo (and his family, including companion Georgina) are in Saudi Arabia after his deal with Al Nasr club to the tune of 214.5 million Dollars. Well, to begin with there was a special rule for Ronaldo allowing him to live - without wedding (gasp!) - with his partner, something unheard of prior in KSA. Here's what is interesting, the footballer is actually coming off as a cheap propaganda machine for KSA.

Forget the NEOM project, the real attraction are the shoes of Georgina displayed in a row in from of her shower - the image made the tour of every other instagram page reporting from the region. His children are "speaking Arabic 2 months after being in Saudi" - again, another video that made the tour. He celebrated founding day dressed in a local attire (you guessed where it came from), and the list continues. A Saudi "blogger" (or was that a "youtuber"?) who is considered "chabihat Georgina" (the doppledanger of Georgina) had a nose job for the comparison to be more complete, and Egyptian actress Yasmine Sabri has been accused of copying the photos of Georgina (same poses, same outfits, etc...) on her own social media pages.

If you wanted a cleaner, more polished image for a land that is otherwise different in reality, 214,5 million Dollars are getting you an excellent deal. As I said, when it comes to a propaganda machine, Ronaldo - and in extenso his family are the perfect instruments. Everyone is obsessed with their every move, every outfit, and believe it or not Al Nasr actually lost a match recently but hey football is just a "side game" in the bigger echelon of things.

So is the Salvator Mundi on the royal yacht of a major Saudi royalty? Is NEOM some silly delusion in the middle of a desert? Who cares? Because did you see the 4th shoe to the left in Georgina's photo?

Ronaldo: A brand in crisis

Sometime in 1993, at AUB, I pretended to be interested in football. It was a Monday, and for some obscure reason, I knew Ansar had a match during the weekend, and so I asked "so what did Ansar do?" - my friend - a bit incredulous at my knowledge - answered back "they won 2-0". Then a light went up and I remembered that someone else told me they were watching a Safa match during the weekend, so I pushed my luck and asked again "and what did Safa do?" - this is when my friend cocked his head in exasperation and said - "Tarek, they were playing against Ansar!".

And this ended my pretention knowing anything about football. Until I was branded non-feminist (I am still reeling for this!) for commenting on the above ad for Le Mall which dates back to 2010 when Le Mall had a series of ads for women and football. Just to be clear I had to google Mannschaft to understand the joke in the ad.

So why am I talking on Ronaldo? The football legend. The football poet and a one man brand?

Because he is - and subsequently his brand is - in crisis. The man has "been suspended for storming down the tunnel after refusing to come on as a substitute against Tottenhame on Wednesday" (October 19, 2022) and as of yesterday (October 21, 2022) he was training alone at the Manchester United turf where he is a player.

Michael Jordan - arguably the world's best basketball player - and my knowledge of basketball is only marginally better than that of football, eventually went into baseball (drafted with the White Sox) as he took a break when at the peak of his career in basketball. He went back to his "day job" earning 3 more championship rings after his one and a half years of stint in baseball. As far as I know, Ronaldo has no hobbies he might turn into a side-job of some sort.

Do note, Christiano Ronaldo is worth 500 Million Dollars according to Forbes. So it's not like the man is destitute or anything. But life has its way of catching up with all of us - one way or the other. And last April Ronaldo's companion Georgina Rodriguez gave birth to a set of twins, one of them dead at birth. Ronaldo has 5 children, but grief (and specifically the grief of a lost child) is processed differently from one human to another.

Could this have caused the outburst Ronaldo is having? No one knows and no one can tell, perhaps not even Ronaldo himself. What is sure is that at this point he - and in extenso his brand - is/are in crisis.

Because "Ronaldo" the brand was built around the man, and his actions - and whatever thoughts he wished to convey on his instagram in incredibly well-manicured sentences - are all part of something bigger than just a "person". He is now CR7 - which according to the internet includes denim, eyewear, footwear, fragrances, and underwear - and he is a Nike ambassador landing a 1 Billion lifetime deal in 2016. 

But as with every other profession - you are as good as your last performance, or last goal I presume. And even (to the most updated count) 817 goals are not enough. 

Ronaldo would never accept to be a substitute player. But by hurting his team, he hurt his image. And his image is more important than his play on the football field. 

But then again, what do I know? I am the man who googled mannschaft.

So, what did Safa do?