Yes, it is supposed to be January 11th not the 2nd, but last year I only thought about celebrating in February so might as well celebrate while it is on my mind. I have been blogging since 19 years. Sometimes I do ask myself "did you think you'd be here in 19 years?" - most of the original "first generation bloggers" in Lebanon either quit, or migrated to other channels, or got bored, or grew up (this does not mean they became adults but I digress), while black sheep me (and I mean "black sheep" because I refused to monetize my audience!) is still here, still getting on people's (and agencies') nerves (as they pretend to ignore me, not read me, not care for what I say, and yet bizarrely if I reveal internal conversations you'd be surprised at the level of scrutiny my writings still get).
As I reiterate again, this is not January 11th yet (the inception of the blog was January 11th 2007!), so there's still time. And as is always with me, I only trickle to the outside world the very small bits of my private life I only wish to trickle - suffice to say 2025 was the proverbial annus horribilis on too many fronts to count. But this is for me to know and for you to only find out what I wish for you to know.
There is something though that comes with age. A certain, I-can't-give-a-hoot-about-what-you-think-anyhow, on a much deeper level than the one I had growing up (which, oddly, was there all there all the time). Which, paradoxically, does not mean I ruffle more feathers, on the contrary now I say the same things, but say them more kindly - heaven help us - more "paternally". I still mean the same things, don't worry, just that am saying them differently than before.
A long time ago I was speaking with a friend from university days and he said "to have experience is to take the same decisions you took earlier, except now you are more sure about them". And indeed, he was right.
Do you remember the hit 19 by Paul Hardcastle? Of course you don't (if you do, like me, you are just too old). Here's a snippet of the lyrics:
"All those who remember the war/They won't forget what they've seen/Destruction of men in their prime/Whose average age was nineteen."
Well, like Miss Jane Brodie (thank you LBC for introducing us to stolen film classics!) my prime is now way behind me, but unlike Alan Parson's Project, I am still far from being "old and wise" (two references no one will get, unless they are up the hill like me). In that neutral no man's land, my blog's average age is 19.