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| Artwork by Tarek Chemaly |
So today everything has a name… “Microagression”, “pansexual”, “harassment”. You want to declutter your “toxic” relationship? Go ahead, “Mary Kondo” it (along with your wardrobe, lifestyle and house) and turn your “Brazilian lifted” bum on the past, because you need to “be the best version of yourself”.
And no I am
not exaggerating in any of the above.
All these
are expressions often used by the youth and not so youthful, to say things
which might be something to them (although I am not sure what, maybe I am too
retro). But I still maintain that there are too many things with names these
days. I know, I know, I seem to come from a different age, and oddly I am very
relaxed – whatever works for you, works for you, as long as you are not hurting
anyone. I mean, what? You want to be sexually adventurous? You want to
cross-dress? You do nude swimming?
Little or
nothing shocks me. Hell, after losing too much weight following diabetes and
falling to a level where websites no longer can advise me on a good fit, the
only t-shirt that worked on me was one from the women’s section. And yes, I
wore it, and no – no one noticed. Just to tell you that I am indeed permissive.
Funny I was
having a conversation with someone lately (an artist I truly respect who is
American of Lebanese origin) and he said that “he had little interest in pop
phenomena these days. ME. The man who always swore to remain hip” to which I
answered “perhaps the time came for you to be hip replacement rather than hip”!
But there
are still too many self-imposed labels (or perhaps imposed by others) to go by.
Maybe it makes people psychologically safe to belong to one category or other
(OK, sorry but “other” is a category apparently these days). Maybe people like
boxes. It makes them both – “belong to something, while being unique”.
I think at
some point, if we resolve this “target audience” (the one that wants to belong
to something, while being unique) problem, we could have be done with all the
marketing dilemma in the world.
In 2003, I
wrote an article entitled “Of minorities of my own” (which was published
earlier on this blog). Oddly it still holds true after all these years. Below
are parts of the article (which is still long mind you).
“I have often wondered what it meant to
be a minority or what it exactly meant to belong to one. A minority is defined
as: “A part of a population differing from other groups in certain
characteristics and sometimes discriminated against”. A minority is also any
group of persons which is less than half.
Being part of a minority is a
cool act in itself. One can always brag about it. You hold that characteristic
you possess high and loud. Now imagine telling someone “Yes, there are only
some 300,000 of us in the whole world!” when referring to whatever characteristic
you might possess. Personally, I belong to the “Christian Maronites”, which is
a religious order only found in Lebanon. Although we follow the Catholic church
in everything, we still like to think that we are a minority.
When I was in New York, I was taking
a walk with an Indian friend of my brother’s and there I was gasping: “See that
Lincoln over there! Well it belongs to a Christian Maronite from Lebanon!”. The
clue behind my statement was that the back window of the Lincoln had a sticker
of St. Charbel on it, a Lebanese saint following that particular order. The
owner of the Lincoln felt so proud of being part of a minority that he just had
to brag about it on Manhattan’s sixth avenue.
I am a left-handed person, and I
specifically recall an incident which happened while at university: By sheer
coincidence, we were three left-handed students sitting side by side at a table
in the library and a right-handed one looking at us oddly. The remark he
managed to say must have been the stupidest one I heard in my whole life: “I
have been writing like that since I was a child [as referring to writing with
his right hand], and no one told me that it was the wrong way to write!”.
But it always surprised me why
minorities feel they are “wrong” - to quote that right handed person at
university - and majorities feel themselves “right” - to quote any skinhead -
when found in specific historical, and geographical conditions.
Another point which also
intrigued me is that the same person who belongs to a majority also, in some
way, simultaneously belongs to a different minority. In an episode of Murphy Brown,
the rather tall actress Candice Bergan found herself obliged to join a club for
“short” men since she seemed to have offended them in her show. The only way
for her to get off the hook was to stir differences about other characteristics
they might possess. And finally, a club member shouted to another - even though
they were both short - “At least I am not bald!”.
Now, short and bald, is a
minority within a minority.
A Lebanese proverb goes: “Me
against my cousin; Me and my cousin against the stranger”. Short and bald
against short and “furry”, then short against tall. Of course, it should all
make sense.
I’ve been thinking, I certainly
would like to be the leader of a minority. A minority which would regroup all
Christian Maronite, left-handed, 5 feet 3 inches tall, 100 lbs heavy; people
who are into Formula 1, pop culture, world music and graphic design; and who
are formed as agriculture engineers, and subsequently as environmental
economists.
We would have our weekly outings
at the Chase restaurant - my favorite - and sometimes hike on Sundays,
we would march for our rights if we had to, and have an annual convention of
our own once a year - twice a year if I am in the mood. We would all have
stickers on our cars signaling our membership to that specific minority.
Our flag will be anything
containing the yellow color - again my favorite.
What happens if a member of the
minority dislikes yellow? Well, he can still find himself another minority who
would want to have a genetic mutation who dislikes yellow.
Even better, that member [former
member to be more precise], can be the leader of his own minority regrouping
all people who are Christian Maronite, left-handed, 5 feet 3 inches tall, 100
lbs heavy; people who are into Formula 1, pop culture, world music and graphic
design, and who are formed as agriculture engineers, and subsequently as
environmental economists… and who dislike yellow.
But what kind of people are these
anyway?”
The quote of the article is now done. And now I can add what Groucho Marx said "I don't want to belong to any club which would accept me as one of its members". Because you know, I am a minority, and I still like to belong. To what however is a different question!