Lebanon and the fallacy of good news

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

Forget the extremely intelligent, even-handed, objective and as usual incredibly smart analysis by Mohammad Ibrahim Fheili, who completely nailed it (which he always does) - here. Realists have no place in Lebanon, they are called defeatists. And yes, I have been called so before many times - among other meaner, harsher, less impolite words (but that's a different story for a different blog post). But here's the thing, Lebanese people may be sectarian, divided, hold deep hatred towards each other, but each of them is - within his/her own logic - incredibly optimistic (see here for a sample).

But the Lebanese need any good news coming their way. Not matter if true or not. We are not doing well no matter whose side of the events you hear, because everyone is now hyping their own (fan) base and trying to tell them that they were right all along, and victorious all along the way, and that their (ever-shifting dogma and alliances) were the real and correct ones since time immemorial. Remind me of this in the next parliamentary elections please.

But it's summer and AC bills are killing everyone, the political climate is suffocating, no one knows who or what is responsible for anything. A lot of things go unsigned in ministries, logistics are hanging by a thread, no one is confronting their inner trauma but again - this is why everyone is desperate for a win. Somewhere, somehow. Direct flights (or talks of them) resuming between Lebanon and the US are one such consequence.

And our president being in the US and hosted by their president seems to be the perfect opportunity for that. Optics are everything and we Lebanese are very good at twisting them the way we want. I said it before and will say it again, Bill Farrell did utter "there's no truth in Beirut, only versions" (please note this has inspired by installation "no truce in Beirut, only virgins" - here).

Cross-eyed god (praying to the)

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

(Originally written in 2010)

Sometimes I feel like a childless mother, a long way from home, hiding into the church of the saint that does no miracles, praying for the cross-eyed god who’s not even worthy of a capital g,

The all seeing, see no evil, the omnipresent, hear no evil, the omnipotent, do no evil: Not doing is an act in itself. Laissez-faire in the name of the cowardice – look at me when I speak to you.

Avoidant personality and no decision is a decision in itself, just file everything under “natural disaster” or “le mal terrestre” – something that never contradicts your kindness, your infinite kindness – damn it, I said look at me when I speak to you.

No words could do you justice, just like the justice you have never done yourself. But who cares? A big PR firm to make your image glossy – repeated message, repeated dogma, repent all you sinners. Now repeat after me the story so far.

Tarek Chemaly's كون مرا for Women's Day (etre une femme)

Artwork by Tarek Chemaly

Inspired by Michel Sardou's "Etre une femme" please read my own كون مرا - to all you women out there who know their worth:

كون مرا

لطارق شمالي

مبنية على

Etre une femme

 

باحلام اليقظة

يللي بتجيني كل فترة وفترة

حلمت هونيك مرة

انو جسمي صار جسم مرا

 

مرا عايشة بهالايام

مرا مش عايزتك انت كمان

كون مرا

كون مرا

 

مرا شوفورة تاكسي عخط الحمرا

مرا معا اوبر بكعب عالي وحمرا

مرا بسيكس ويل ونقلة باطون

مرا بفستان سهرا بتحكي بافلاطون

مرا سواقة جحش الدولة عالاتوستراد

ومرا توصل بالسلامة ان الله راد

كون مرا

كون مرا

 

مرا فخامة بقصر بعبدا

مرا بالسراي رئيسة وزرا

مرا ماسكة ساحة النجمة

مرا نائب بس بالسابع حبلة

مرا سفير وعارضة ازياء

ومرا بتشرح قانون من الالف للياء

كون مرا

كون مرا

 

مرا جنرل بالقوى المسلحة

مرا سيدنا وحاطة ماسكرا

مرا بايدا سياسة الشرق الاوسط

مرا كابتن بطيران الشرق الاوسط

مرا ترد عليها من برج المطار

ومرا مدير عام سكسي نار

كون مرا

كون مرا

 

مرا بالدفاع المدني

مرا لحام وخضرجي

مرا ميكانيسيين وبنشرجي

مرا طراش على السيبة

مرا سنكري وحداد ونجار

ومرا جلا بلاط ومعلم عمار

كون مرا

كون مرا

 

مرا رئيس مجلس ادارة

مرا بتمشيكن دوبارة

مرا بتعمل فور باي فور

مرا سايقة فان عطريق البور

مرا بتدوبل عنك على الكوع

ومرا بتوصلا بطلوع الروح

 

مرا عايشة بهالايام

مرا مش عايزتك انت كمان

Behind the bylines - Epica Awards interview

And so I finally made it to the "behind the bylines" Epica jurors interview (here) after technology not being on our side (how can a reply to an email land in the spam?). Still, thank you Julie, Nicolas, Marc and Philippe!

Belvento, the book that fell through the cracks

Yesterday, within the euphoria of rehousing my books (here), one book fell through the cracks - simply because it was published while we (that would be my digtial advisor Patrick Chemali - no relation - and myself) were right in the middle of the technical jumble.

Called "Belvento" (which alongside McCondo, is up there with those mythical places in literature) and obviously inspired by Georges Schehadé (or Chehade, there are many variations to writing the name), and a visit to the very long time rental he lived in Beirut. Just to be clear, if you do not understand Chehade it is not fault of yours, either you do or you don't.

So "Belvento" (the mythical village from his play "L'emigre de Brisbane") is just as absurd, and hopefully just as fun and oblique as the great playwriter and poet's work.

Originally the project dates back to 2013, and just as always, I go back to my own archive or someone else's and reinterpret it. Please have a glance at Belvento here.

A new link for my books

In 2003, in Saudi Arabia out of all places, I self-published a poetry anthology by the name of "The Wit and Wisdom of Arty Stotle".... Then in 2009 came the first tome of Archewallogy which made it to the cover of the best selling Danish newspaper on its Sunday edition - the book was free of charge and many (as in thousands!) of copies were distributed. 

This has launched the floodgates of my self-publishing (for a while it was under the banner of 7UPstairs Publishing). There were many books I published for other people, several collaborations, a lot of accompanying videos, and each book remains lovely to revisit.

For a long time the books were housed on a different platform, but now came the time to reorganize them under my own website. Yes, some culling was necessary - no poetry anthologies, no plays, only graphic and visual books remained. But what a joy to look at them some after years of their original publication.

Surely, sometimes I say "oh I used too many colors here", "I should have sacrificed this page", but by and large, I look at them with (biased, I know) enormous pride. They remain a testimony of someone working tirelessly, recklessly, and strenuously with a touch of OCD to boot. Most of these books were self-made from cover to cover (save for 3 volumes of Archewallogy - the first, second and Archewallogy San Francisco).

Do they look self-made? Probably. Does it matter? Not in the least.

I am indebted for my digital consultant Patrick Chemali - no relation - for putting up with me (a pseudo-luddite because all the self-made books were not made on Photoshop but.... on Paintbrush!) and - just for my credit - I could be the only client in the world who has asked "to make my logo smaller" (as it was ginormous on the original page!).

Please enjoy all the books on this link here! 

No Truce in Beirut, Only Virgins - republishing the art installation by Tarek Chemaly

Originally published in 2011, the art installation "No Truce in Beirut, only virgins" by Tarek Chemaly (yes, that would be me!) is republished below having lost none of its socio-politico-economic connotations since it was first unveiled.

Bill Farrell, the Middle East correspondent of the New York Times once said “There is no truth in Beirut, only versions” as the country stands as divided as ever on key issues and as the “war” in its metaphoric sense has never ended, everyone is looking for a respite – for a truce. However, no matter how damaging political acts are on all sides of the spectrum, everyone rushes to dip them into a patriotic sauce claiming innocence, good intentions, and “virginity” from all error.


This art installation will be composed of several set of diptychs:

1a) A Paul Smith diary filled from start to finish with the words “Art is useless, resistance is futile”

1b) Another Paul Smith diary filled from start to finish with the words “la jadwa min al fan wal moukawama a’abathiyya” (The Arabic transposition of the above-mentioned English sentence)

2a) An old photo of Georgina Rizk (Taken by Studio Nicolas), the Lebanese beauty queen crowned Miss Universe in 1971 – few people know that she was married to Ali Hassan Salameh, one of Yasser Arafat’s top lieutenants and upon his assassination she vowed “to continue the struggle.”

2b) A photo of the flowers on the grave of Audette Salem, mother of Richard and Christine, who were abducted during the war and are 2 of the 17,000 missing people whose whereabouts are unknown. For a very long time she was a key driver in keeping the issue of the missing people alive.

3a) A photo of the Khaled Alwan plaque near the now Vero Moda shop in Hamra (Formerly Wimpy restaurant) who killed an Israeli officer who was sitting there shortly after the Israeli invasion in 1982 in one of the rare acts of individual resistance in the city.

3b) A photo of Lt. Colonel Mansour Diab, the Lebanese Army officer who confessed to working with the Israeli intelligence and who was sentenced to 20 years of hard labor. The photo is a personal photo I have of him who was my own trainer as an officer during the military service.

4a) An old photo (Taken by Studio Nicolas) of Hafez el Assad, late Syrian President.

4b) A notice bearing I(Heart) – the classic I(Heart) NY sign typography – but with NY replaced by 452. Read in its entirety the statement becomes I(heart)452 or 10452 the area of Lebanon in square Kilometers.

5a) A book dating back to 1979 which details the exploits of the Lebanese Forces during the 100-day war in Achrafieh against the Syrians in 1978 (June – October).

5b) A book dating back to October 2006 which details the exploits of the Hizbullah as it fought the Israelis during the July-August 2006 war.

6a) An old Medieval image depicting the conquest of Jerusalem by the crusaders – highlighting the internal fraction of the Lebanese population that still believes that external forces are capable of defending Lebanon and bringing peace to the Middle East.

6b) A mural found in the Southern suburb of Beirut which depicts Hizbullah fighters on their way to Jerusalem with the word “Kadimoun” on it (We are coming) signifying that Jerusalem can only be liberated by Arab – perhaps even Lebanese - fighters.

7a) A photo of a window shop in Hamra back during the Cedar Revolution in 2005 asking for the “truth”

7b) A copy of Bill Farrell’s statement “There is no truth in Beirut, only versions.”

8a) A statement by Abou Ayyad (top Palestinian officer in Lebanon) which went: “The road to Jerusalem goes through Jounieh” (Which is a seaside city north of Beirut). Whereas the statement was a geographical impossibility, it implied that the Palestinians wanted Lebanon as an alternative country.

8b) A copy of a forwarded joke about Lebanon whereby during Genesis, God was saying he was going to create a great country with great people, and when the angels asked the Lord why he was being so generous with that new nation, he answered: “Wait till you see what kind of neighbors I am going to give them.”

9a) A photo taken from Al Anwar newspaper (Dated 15 January 1984) of Duke Walker, a private in the Marines stationed by the Airport with a mouse held in his mousetrap.

9b) A photo of the memorial dedicated to the slain Marines in Beirut after the suicide attacks on their barracks which lead to the killing of more than 280 of them.

10a) Poster for the first post-war concert by Feyrouz: In a discussion with my 1st year university students about the symbols representing Lebanon, they dismissed the Cedars and the flag but only agreed on Tabboule and on our national diva Feyrouz who throughout the war, refused to do concerts in Lebanon and only gave her first on Martyrs’ square on September 17th, 1994.

10b) Poster of the “National Tabboule day”: an action initiated by artist Ricardo Mbarkho.

11a) The cover of issue number 200 from Al Jaras magazine which headlined the old Al Mutanabi verse of poetry “Only buy the slave (Which doubles in meaning as any person with a dark complexion) with his baton with him, for the slaves are an evil and spiteful breed.” Following the accident whereby a mistreated Ethiopian maid threw her employers’ baby from the balcony before committing suicide.

11b) The photo of a stencil which goes Sri Lankese is different than maid (Since often the Lebanese use the words interchangeably as proven by the absurd words of my student who said “Our Srilankese comes from Ethiopia”).

12a) An ad which appeared in newspapers in 1984 about the Commodore hotel selling off its “London taxis.”

12b) A photo of the new London taxis in Beirut which became all the rage in 2010.

13a) An old postcard of “modern Beirut” with a view on the pool of the St. George Yacht Motor Club, a hotel which severely suffered from litigation with Solidere (the company which rebuilt downtown Beirut and owned by late P.M. Rafic Hariri) which deprived the hotel of its marina. Ironically, the owner of the St. George says that he suffered in Hariri’s death more than in his life because the huge explosion that killed the P.M. happened in front of the hotel.

13b) A small article which appeared in the Al Diyar newspaper about the reenactment of the murder of Hariri in an Army barrack in Bordeaux, France where a full scale model of the St. George was built for the purposes of the exercise.

14a) A pin with the inscription “intifadat al istiklal” (“the uprising of the independence also known as “the cedar revolution”) which I wore in 2005.

14b) Another pin with the inscription “Lebanese opposition” which I also wore in 2005. However, the opposition became the “other camp” and so it is difficult now to know which opposition the pin depicted.

15a) Lebanon is ruled by the equation “al jaysh, al sha3b, wal moukawama” which translates into “the army, the people, and the resistance” (i.e. the Hizbullah) which was adopted as an official idiom of defense of the country and a way to recognize the operations of Hizbullah as being outside the realm of the army, although supposedly in coordination with it. To illustrate this point, the cover of the Mehdi magazine aimed for children which states “in July (2006) my people have prevailed”.

15b) Lebanon is also ruled by another equation, “Sin-Sin” (or S-S) which refers to “Syria-Saudi Arabia” two of the major regional powers with stakes in the land, indicating that Lebanon will forever be at the crossroads of international (and often conflicting) interests specifically that Syria has close ties to Iran and Saudi Arabia is a major ally of the United States. Ashekman, a rap and graffiti crew have designed a t-shirt with the Superman logo in Arabic (namely the letter S), so it will be shown in lieu of the original politically oriented S-S.

16a) Two postcards and a poster from artist Walid Zbib which depicted respectively Beirut’s Hamra street in 1987, the museum area and the seaside corniche in 1990 symbolizing Beirut’s chaos.

16b) The return to the scene of these place and how they looked in 2010.

17a) An article written by Suleiman Frangieh (who later became president of the republic) addressed to the then president mentioning politicians accusing other people of being “cheese eaters” (i.e. corrupt – a term coined by then president Fouad Chehab or “fromagers”) when legal documents indict them in person (i.e. being “cheese eaters” themselves). The found article is undated but could be traced back to circa 1968.

17b) An article written by Khaled Saghieh in Al Akhbar newspaper (published on Sept. 21st 2010) mentioning the same “cheese eaters” indicating however, that those eaters, no matter how corrupt, had at least the interest of preserving the “cheese”.

18a) In order to understand the inner workings of Lebanon, you must:

Get 2 puzzles of the same number of pieces, and edited by the same company Assemble the puzzles independently/Start mixing the pieces from the two puzzles/The end result will be two sets of puzzles, of the same number, whose pieces actually fit – but that do not make sense on the whole (because the pieces come from two different sets)/Extrapolate the above, and apply it to the Lebanese case: Lebanon is a country where all the pieces fall into place, but that don't necessarily make sense once put all together. This rationale has been applied to two puzzles of the map of Lebanon.

18b) The complementary set of pieces of the map crisscrossed from one puzzle to the next.

19a) During a manifestation of Arab nationalists in the 1960s on the Bourj area in Beirut, those at the beginning of it were shouting “Falyaskot wa’ad Belfour” (let the declaration of Lord Belfour be nullified), the same declaration that promised a home for the Jews in Palestine (under the condition that “nothing shall be done to prejudice the civil and religious rights of the non-Jewish communities in Palestine.”)

19b) The manifestation grew so long that those at the end of it were shouting, instead of “Falyaskot wa’ad Beflour”, “Falyaskot wahad men fowk” (let a head from above topple) a proof if any was needed that the crowds only need a catalyst to join in – no matter what the manifestation is for (or against) and that slogans – through an “Indian telephone” system could be subverted as long as they phonetically rhyme.

20a) In a notorious incident, a commission of the delegates went to Kamel Assaad*’s father who was one of the most influential Shiite feudal lords (or dignitaries to put in mildly) in the South of Lebanon and asked him to build schools for their children, his retort was: “Kamel a’am yeta’alam a’ankon” (Kamel is studying on your behalf!) (*Kamel Assaad became speaker of the house after the parliamentary elections that preceded the war of 1975 and remained until the end of the self-prorogating law which lasted until the first post-war elections which included “nominations” of certain MPs).

20b) A banner for the Mehdi schools (schools backed by the Hizbullah) emphasizing that their students (mostly coming from Shiite underprivileged classes) have scored high on a national level (with one being first in her category in all of Lebanon).

21a) An undated article from Annahar newspaper (most likely going back to 2000) where the Israeli press gives Hassan Nasrallah (leader of the Hizbullah) chances of becoming president of the Lebanese republic now that the Shiite Moslems are going to ask for it (an impossibility since by constitution the president is Maronite Christian).

21b) Based on the idea by Haaretz columnist Bradley Burston following his article “Hassan Nasrallah for Prime Minister of Israel” which appeared in the Israeli press after the 2006 war, this is the photo of an imaginary election campaign for Nasrallah in Israel (overimposed on Benjamin Netenyahu’s own).

22 a) President Obama was notified by the hit team that “Geronimo EKIA” which translates into (Osama ben Laden) “Enemy Killed In Action.” Stickers and t-shirts were sold on the internet to celebrate the event.

22b) Another message “Geronimo IKEA” which translates into “I Kill Every Arab” which roughly translates the mood of the Arab street following the death of Ben Laden and the anti-American sentiment that keeps brewing – in addition it also translates the view that Al Qaeda was also killing Arab civilians in its operations.